Mediterranean Views

The new reality

2011-11-18T13:50:00.002+01:00

This is no longer a crisis, this is the new reality.

I heard this line the other day and I have been thinking about it ever since. It is exactly true. Despite the fact that the talking heads - economists, journalists, politicians, political and social analysts - continue to talk about the crisis and how to get out of it, returning to the growing, spending economic situation of 3 or 4 years ago, the same situation that got us here, we are evolving into this new reality.
I have also been thinking about the important psychological shift that this implies. If we are in a crisis that the economists, big businesses, investors, bankers, politicians and government are going to resolve and bring us out of, then we are waiting for others to resolve our personal woes. We make others responsible for us finding a job; for us being able to obtain or maintain a home, whether renting or buying one; for us to lack the fear to start or invest in something new. However if we stop using the word crisis and accept that this is the new reality and realize that these are the new times and circumstances that are ours to live, then all of a sudden the responsibility to move forward in life is our own.
I must create my own job and income, by searching my talents, abilities, experience, creativity and passion and by being aware of the needs and wants of others that I can fulfill with these talents. Then I must take the steps to put my conclusions into action to generate income.
I must adjust my expectations of my housing situation to meet the new needs of these changing times – live in a smaller space, perhaps in a different neighborhood or city; rent vs. own my home; divide up my large space into individual smaller spaces to rent out, offer or accept a room in a home that has more than enough space, perhaps in exchange for work rendered – on other words, let go of the social status symbols and material demands that have been put on me – and begin to live more freely in a place that suits new circumstances. These changes offer many benefits including a manageable cost for housing, lower energy demands and costs, more freedom of movement when job or personal desire demands it.
I must accept that I, personally, and we as a developed nation, may not get back to the boom times of the consumerism and material desires of the recent past. I must re-examine my values and place importance on the aspects of myself and life that money cannot buy: love, family, friendship, time dedicated to them, natural beauty, integrity, goodness, generosity of spirit, self discovery and development, enjoyment of the moment. And then it is my responsibility to move forward in my life in this new reality based on these new realizations, self understanding and strength.

If it is difficult to find your talents and passions, your values, or the strength and ability to implement them, then ask for help. There are many able and willing to help, and these new times encompass the shift from selfish accumulation and spending to community collaboration and support from acquaintances and strangers alike.

This is no longer a crisis, this is the new reality. Are you ready to make the psychological shift that it implies? And if you already have, how can you help others make that shift?

I can see clearly now

2011-01-12T13:35:00.004+01:00

A Winter Fog

2011-01-07T17:26:00.008+01:00

There is a winter fog hovering over me,
it´s weightlessness a farce as it sets heavy on my shoulders.
I wish to throw it off so I can progress with clarity into this new year
but it eludes my grasp and dances about keeping me under its influence.

There is a list of resolutions beckoning me,
its fresh content and possibilities call me from the other side.
I imagine delving into them and awakening anew

But the leaden shroud of mist hangs on and hinders my advance.

Alone I wish to dissolve it, to reach the other side
however, in company I find myself each day and
this is a challenge I must face in solitude and silence
concentrating on dissipating the veil in order to move forward freely.

Soon the house will be quiet, I will be alone
and the rays of sunny solitude
will burn off the fog.

Where am I?

2011-01-03T13:43:00.002+01:00

How far am I from me? But I am here always, constantly by my side. Then the question perhaps is, how far is me from where I am? I am not sure: close by, often sitting in my lap, but many other times ME is drifting, disappeared, distant, darkened. I must shine the light again, to illuminate the path that brings ME back to where I am, or that makes it easier that I move closer to the distant ME. The two are longing to be reunited on the same bright path, I know it.

Where am I, where am I going?

2010-04-21T09:59:00.011+02:00

I rattle around in my mind like I rattle around in my dreams:

disorientated and confused in a familiar yet unknown, undefined place.

Which road to take, corner to turn, shortcut to choose or forgoe, landmark to guide myself by?

Where am I, why am I here - in this familiar yet unknown place - where am I going and how do I get there?

I rattle around in my mind like I rattle around in my dreams...

Like Pebbles On Water

2009-11-11T01:38:00.002+01:00

All of our actions are like pebbles on water, leaving ripples whose effects are broad and unknown. May the ripples of our acts cause others to make their own positive, far reaching ripples. May we live in peace and generosity knowing this is so.

A Soft Flutter of Newly Found Wings

2009-10-28T20:28:00.005+01:00

In this country of mine, from which I have been absent for 22 years, I was lost..

But I am found in my soul of knowing who I am. I am a peaceful heart, loving being, joyful woman,
one who wishes to help others discover who they are in their own souls of knowing.

They are not a big house, or a job that provides money but not joy; they are not their cars or their children or their children's achievements.

They are a wealth of talent, creativity and blessings that they are no longer aware of.
They must go away and listen to their souls.
Turn off the commands, turn down the expectations, flee from the noise....

towards the silence of nature where their soul will unfurl itself in its long lost element,
where their gifts, creativity and blessings will unwind the tightly woven silk strings of their oppressing cocoon..

in order to fly towards sunlight, freedom and discovery like a butterfly.
They will flit from one beautiful flower to another for the sheer pleasure of the uniqueness of who they are there, at that moment,

until they land confidently on their destined perch, gently settling with a soft flutter of their newly found wings.

Burkas in America

2009-10-01T11:48:00.003+02:00

My flight from London arrived yesterday into Washington Dulles Airport at the same time as a flight from Riahd Saudi Arabia. I was at first surprised by, and then curious about the many women in burkas, it is the first time I have seen them in person. As we made our way to the US Citizens line in the immigration area I noticed a family of four. A young father two children around 5 and 6 and an obviously young petite woman covered from head to foot, except her eyes, in black. All the other burkas and their groups were in the non-US citizen lines. So I proceeded to watch the advancement of this family in the immigration process to see if the immigration officer would make her lift the veil in order to compare her face to her passport picture.
What surprise, indignation and anger I felt when HE DID NOT!
What? Was there a James Bond like eye tester machine she looked into to confirm her identity? There wasn't one in my line... How did he know she was who her passport said, or was that photo of a veil and two eyes too?
We as airline passengers are foreced into ridiculous and degrading security measures at every airport world wide because of Islam sponsored terrorism and yet the women are allowed to enter into the US (and this one as a US citizen!) without showing her face because it's against Islam!! What about our security? PLEASE! We need to set rules for ALL based on OUR customs and beliefs and security needs.
I am not saying they should have to remove them during their stay here, (although I'd like a debate on that) but at least to enter the country!
Since I have read the book Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, I have become much more supportive of our nation putting our foot down, and walking less on eggshells about applying our cultural, constitutional and American values. If anyone doesn't like it, then they are welcome to return to the countries they have immigrated from, if those traditions are so great stay where they are accepted.

Dad's on the Plaza

2009-09-22T09:03:00.004+02:00

I was sitting in the central Plaza de la Merced in the heart of historical Malaga around noon yesterday for about 30 minutes , and in that time I watched five different men spending time with their children in the plaza. They ranged from 25 - 30 years old I would guess and the children ranged from a few months in a tummy pack to toddlers of 2 or 3 with tricycles or a ball. They were not toting the kids with them from point A to point B in strollers, rather they were taking them for a morning stroll and playtime in the plaza.
There were no women with kids in the plaza at this time, and only a couple of the fathers (I assume they were the fathers) seemed to be communicating with each other. Mostly they were just letting their child walk and toddle around, or observe the goings on of the plaza from a perch on their daddy's tummy. All seemed quite content to be doing so.
I was surprised, curious and impressed, and convinced that we are on the right path: Children need to be raised by their parents, not in a nursery school, but it doesn't always have to be the mother that stays home to do so, it depends on each couple's abilities, desires and circumstances. Dad's on the plaza enjoying their kids and vice versa is a lovely option.

Returning to the old or fundamental change?

2009-09-20T19:44:00.004+02:00

I enjoy spending weekend mornings listening to all the current affairs debate and discussion shows on the international news channels we get: CNN Int’l (a far better cry from the American CNN), BBC Int’l., Al Jazeera, TV5 - France’s English version, Spain’s CNN or 24 hours news station. Subjects range from Int’l. politics, to green initiatives in many cultures, healthcare, education, social justice subjects or the economy. Recently there have been panels made up of financial experts of every kind talking about this “economic crisis”. This morning I listened to another one on BBC Int’l. focusing on whether we’ve hit the bottom and are now coming out of it. Every time I hear these debates it strikes me that there is always a tone of “returning”, “recuperating”, “getting back to stability”, perhaps with a few more regulations, but there is no discussion of a FUNDAMENTAL change in what drives the economy – personal consumption.

The economy has been driven by the developed world’s consumption of disposable goods for decades; it is a policy direction that was voiced after WWll (see the History of Stuff for a quick overview of the policy and system http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLBE5QAYXp8). But now that so many of us have greatly reduced our consumption – of luxury items, an abundance of trendy fashion, bigger houses, all the furniture and decorative paraphernalia that goes with them, new cars every three years, and a lot of other non-essential “stuff”, do we the consumers really want to go back to the previous levels of consumption, and will we be capable of it, both financially and morally?

I perceive a collective sigh of relief at now having a legitimate reason to slow down the consumption that goes against so many of our grains – against what we learned from and admired in our grandmothers, against the false and short lived joy we got from buying things that we or someone else thought we had to have, against the time we spend shopping – taking it away from friends, family, ourselves or even projects that help others. I think we are ready to move towards other things that fulfill us more and that perhaps we “need” more as well.

By buying less we feel better: we stay within our budget, our environmental footprint is reduced, we have more time with our family and friends, we do things we haven’t had time for, perhaps we take a course and learn new things, all things that fill our soul not our home or closet – that are already overflowing. But this continues to have a negative effect on the employment numbers on a global level, we buy less, there are less revenues, companies cut jobs, those employees consume less so others loose their jobs, now not only in manufacturing and sales outlets, but in the periphery industries like packaging, advertising, graphic design, support services, etc.. It is a downward spiral that hasn’t seen its bottom yet. So now many unemployed have hard time just keeping up with what they really "need".

So in the debates when they talk about consumer trends, the economy, the financial sector, they do so in a mutually exclusive manner from the debates on sustainability, environment, education, healthcare, food supply, water availability, all issues that our global future depends on. Instead they continue to talk about when are we going to be back to where we were, rather than how to we create a new economic order based not on people going back to the consumption model but rather on people going into things that improve so many of the areas that have been ignored or damaged by these decades of consumer based economy.

Maybe this is why Obama is focusing on many of these issues, because the private sector has been too busy with earning, earning, consuming, consuming and not enough on these low profit, non-tangibles that benefit everyone. So now as the government looks to healthcare, the environment and improved education for all levels of the population, you would think a discussion of a FUNDAMENTAL change in what drives the economy would be included on these Int’l. programs and at these big G20 summits, but sadly they are not.

That is the discussion I want to hear, I want to be a part of. How can we all make a living that supports our needs – not our over the top whims – and whose results will help others achieve the same ability, not only in the USA but around the world? How do we go forward economically to a new order that benefits most rather than back to the same old one that only worked for some? When will BBC or CNN or FOX or CNBC have those discussions?

Indulgent Sunday

2009-08-12T09:20:00.004+02:00

What a beautiful indulgent Sunday! It is cooler and crisper than it has been in weeks, the oppressive humidity dissipated to who knows where. The light morning lends a sharpness to my recently coiffed impatients and geraniums, the breeze brings wafts of jasmine with it. It is 10oC cooler outside than in, a flip flop over the past few days, and I must be out and enjoy it. How fortunate that I have started a new/old book, Garlic and Sapphires, lent to me this past week by a friend who knows me well.
Recently I have been lent books by friends who have said, ‘I thought you’d enjoy this’ and I realized how well they knew me. Those are the books I have most enjoyed reading this summer. In addition to Sapphires and Garlic by there’s also been Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen. All different one from the other, but all stories that have pulled me in and appealed to different facets of who I am. Thank goodness for friends that think of me when they read!
So I made a pot of coffee, grabbed my book, retrieved my glasses and took to my reading lounger on the porch, saying to myself ‘OK Amy, you get an hour, until it gets too hot, and then you must get back to finishing the report on your project they’ll be expecting next week.’ Well, after an hour and the first cup of coffee, I forced myself to break from the adventures of Ruth Reichl, the New York Times restaurant critic who entertains with her beguiling tales of disguises and delectables in the Manhattan restaurant scene. A pang of hunger finally hit me, after no supper last night and all these mouth watering food descriptions. I wondered how it had taken so long, actually. ‘OK Amy,’ I said to myself, ‘make yourself a Sunday breakfast, enjoy the next chapter and a bit more of the breeze as accompaniments and then hit the computer.’
Scrambled eggs, yesterday’s “rustic loaf” toasted with apricot jam, and fruit salad with a splash of amaretto to compliment the odd mix of everything fresh I had on hand: pineapple, peach, melon, apple, pear and grapes off our vine – an odd but refreshing combination, perfect for a peaceful Sunday morning. While finishing the last of the 2nd cup of coffee, I started another chapter.
This woman and her antics, and mostly her beautiful writing, just sucked me in. I didn’t want to put her down. I wanted to be her, to be able to eat 4, 5 or 6 times at the best restaurants not worrying about the cost. I wanted to know food and have the culinary experience and ability to decipher even the most obscure ingredients: squid ink, chocolate in a burgundy sauce, something sweet turning out to be pineapple juice in a Japanese soup. I wanted to be able to disguise myself into someone unrecognizable and then take on a whole new persona to discover parts if me I didn’t even know (or was afraid to know) existed. I haven’t fantasized about being a character in a novel for decades. I am charmed.
Third cup of coffee (only a half – I never have more than two) and I pass the halfway mark of the book. The humidity is still low, the breeze coming around the corner from the patio to my spot on the porch is still fresh and cool, the bees humming in the jasmine are a comforting background noise, so much better than the racket of the lotus’, whose buzzing has been like an non-stop chain saw this past week.
So now I’m on apple juice and sharing my Sunday bliss for a later posting on my blog, and I argue to myself ‘Well Amy, if the report has waited all July to get finished, another Sunday won;t make that much of a difference.’
An evening glass of wine and now I’ve finished the book. What a beautiful indulgent Sunday.

Black or White

2009-07-02T10:15:00.004+02:00

I looked at the photos from the Memorial to Michael Jackson held at the Apollo theater in Harlem this week and I couldn't help but observe the 99% black crowd. I found it interesting that they would "worship" a black man who tried to become white. Of course the posters and t-shirts being bought and shown off were images of his Jackson 5 days, Bad and Off the Wall, when he still looked black. I also observed that many who surrounded him, like his doctor and nutritionist, were black. So I ask, if he appealed to his race and supoprted those of his race professionaly, why did he try and look white?

When was the last time you went out to play?

2009-06-02T19:25:00.008+02:00

It was hot on Sunday, I spent a good part of the day doing laundry and cleaning the house. So at about 6pm I put on the bikini and dove into the pool without even testing the water.

I proceeded to "play" in the pool like I did as a kid. I am grateful that at my middle age I can still do front and back summersaults in the water, often two in one breath. I can still reach a balance and hold a handstand for more than 10 seconds,

I can still do several backhandsprings (in the water) in a row, getting dizzy and feeling my body weight differently, just like I used to do when I was 12 or 13. (OK so I was a gymnast in my teens) What fun I had playing in the pool! Diving in, swimming lengths in one breath, kicking as hard as I could to make big waves. My 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend could only smile at me in surprised wonder and then take some pictures. I felt myself smiling the whole time too. And what good exercise it was! When was the last time you went out to play?
Last one in is a rotten egg!

Back to the Barter

2009-06-02T19:08:00.005+02:00

With changes abounding in our economics, personal, national and global, we should consider how we can bring back the old fashioned barter system into our lives. Yesterday I gave a friend Reiki and she gave me a massage. Neither can afford to pay for those services, that seem like luxuries, but that are actually essential for our over all well-being and for keeping stress at bay. It was a win-win arrangement. We have set another date in two weeks.

Beat the crisis - go back to the barter system.. what can you offer? what can you receive?

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2009-05-12T08:46:00.002+02:00

I am grateful for a couple of hours of laughter and songs with my 16 yr old and one of her best friends. She took the microphone and small sound system I have outside to practice her songs for the talent show next month. She's a good singer and performer and has participated in the local edition of the X-Factor and past talent shows, and of course as a mother, I LOVE watching and listening to her. So I dropped all my "must dos" to take advantage of the opportunity! She sang some past numbers and "hammed up" Somewhere over the Rainbow (one of her dad's favorites). In her exageration of the emotion of it, she really made it 'hers' and powerful. Then she got her friend into duets and sillyness and we laughed heartily. Wonderful way to spend my afternoon.

2009-05-10T23:35:00.004+02:00

Happy Mother's Day to All you Mothers!
Am grateful that I got my relaxed day of paella and beer with husband and girls at the beachside restaurant down the hill from our house, walk on the beach, siesta and a couple hours of reading to finish As I Lay Dying (william Faulkner) for Tuesday's book club I lead.

Now to read "Bodas de Sangre" Blood Wedding by Garcia Lorca to help my daughter with it for her class assignmnet.

2009-05-08T10:36:00.003+02:00

One of my New Year's "resolutions" (why do I hate that word? or whole concept for that matter, yet still fall prey to it? Maybe for another blog entry I'll go there) was to keep a "gratitude journal". I didn't find a journal, calendar, or other writing vehicle that I liked for it (read procrastination or hesitation?) so when I finally broke down and opened a Facebook page - for socialogical research I told myself - I decided my regular commentary would be on something I was grateful for. As much for my own good as a possible inspiration to others to remember all the positive things instead of the negative things in their lives.

So here are a few of my recent ones - and since it has been become difficult for me to write longer entries on this blog space, I will include them here as well in the future.

I'm grateful for happy childhood and teen memories, triggered by songs on the "classic hits" stations. The more I know, the more I realize how fortunate I was to have been loved the way I was by my parents.

I'm grateful for the family gathering to celebrate Spanish Mother's Day. Today I cooked and entertained - maybe I'll get paella at the beach next week on US Mother's Day!

I'm grateful for the unconditional love of our 4 legged friends: Jessie the blonde lab, Nico the tabby cat, Lily the black and white cat. Comforting on a low day...joyful always!

I'm grateful for the fact that our teenage girls ask me to fix vegetables and "healthy food" especially after circumstances have had them missing the daily home cooked meal. All that work of insisting they eat some "green" every day pays off!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-11T12:19:00.004+02:00

As described in my posts below, Holy Week celebrations here in Spain focus on the Passion, the suffering, the crucifiction and so little on the JOY of Christ's resurection and life. Easter Sunday is almost a let down after all the rituals they perform in their processions all Holy Week long.

So today I am focusing on the Joy of Resurection and Love of Jesus, to inspire me to continue in my desire to treat others as I wish to be treated out of love and generosity, not envy, mistrust or selfishness.

I wish you the same inspirations and blessings in God's love on this Easter weekend.

Personal Reflections on my Semana Santa

2009-04-09T12:22:00.007+02:00

Eyes full of suffering fix on mine, guilt gags at the back of my throat, confusion quivers under my skin. Am I some how to blame? But for what? The beat of the drum changes, the trumpet’s wail intensifies, the paso continues its 45º turn and Christ’s eyes lock into someone else’s bewildered soul.
The Nazarenos follow in their white coned hats and black robes, their paschal candles illuminate the night. After all these years in Spain their covered faces are still sinister and anonymous to me like the Ku Klux Klan. The antique silver staff is tapped
three times on the pavement, the music ceases and the procession comes to a temporary rest. Spectators return to conversations, many weave in and out of the scene to get to a better spot, children try to cajole candle drippings from the silent Nazarenos to grow their wax ball like a snowball. Mistrust of these hidden penitents doesn’t exist for them.
I shift from leg to leg, rub my sore back, crane my neck to see if the Virgin is in sight yet. I think about Christ’s imploring eyes and wonder why I’m here. The trumpet thankfully interrupts, the drum beats again, brum brum, brum bum bum. A distant bell rings and the Nazarenos angle their candles towards each other forming a medieval-like arch over the street, they resume their silent shuffle. A slight hint of incense tickles my nose, the steady clanking of the swaying palio, (the canopy suspended over the statue) becomes clearer, flickering flames and the mourning Virgin finally appear in the distance above the white peaks. The second band, accompanying the Virgin, now marks the beat that the procession follows, sometimes slow and sorrowful, other times swift and exultant, but always steady and familiar. The costaleros (the men who carry the throne throughout the streets) sway the paso, gently rock it, inch it along or march it forward according to the music. The more frequently and elaborately they do this, the more the crowd applauds them. It is in hopes of seeing this spectacle that I wait so long for the Virgin to pass this corner I have staked as mine.
She is dressed in burgundy velvet, her black cloak, also velvet, is intricately embroidered in gold all the way to the end of it’s 4 meter train. The palio above her is embroidered to match. Her gilded halo shimmers in the night glow of candles and street lamps. The beautifully sculpted silver base overflows with white flowers: lilies, roses, carnations, freesias, gladiolas. She rests in front of us, I can hear the costaleros sigh in relief. A spontaneous saetero pays her homage, singing the traditional flamenco type song of pain and lament. At its end another admirer cheers Viva la Virgen, the crowd responds with Viva! They repeat this three times and the crowd breaks out in wild applause. The music begins again, the costaleros take their position and repay this homage with their beautiful display of maneuvers. As they progress down the street to the beat of the drum, the crowd’s applause lingers.
We have seen the entire procession, over sixty minutes standing still in the middle of a crowd, my body aches and I need air. I once again wonder why I do this, and why it means so much to me. My husband prods me on to the plaza to sit and have a drink. We watch the locals greet each other with kisses, and warm salutations and can’t help but notice the once-overs the women give each other in their show of new Spring fashions.
I ponder the contrast of the solemnity of Christ’s suffering paraded around town with this display of economic well-being, the full bars and restaurants, the festive atmosphere parading on the street corners.
Semana Santa in Andalucia, it simply magnifies what I have already concluded about the Catholic Church in Spain; it has become an institution of cultural rituals instead of spiritual support and moral guidance. What I find harder to conclude is what it has become for me.

Celebrating Holy Week in Andalucia

2009-04-09T11:32:00.027+02:00

History, culture and a different form of religious devotion take on the principal role in the Holy Week celebrations in Spain, and most elaborately in Andalucía. Multitudes fill the streets to pay homage to their favorite images of the Virgin Mary or Jesus Christ, and to feel that certain spiritual energy that religious images paraded throughout their city or village neighborhoods often generate. Different “brotherhoods” take pride in the history, sometimes centuries old, of their particular scene of Christ’s Passion that their “throne” represents, and in the sorrow and purity that their “Virgin Maria’s” face portrays.
The emergence of this Holy Week processional tradition dates as far back

as the 12th and 13th centuries, appearing first in Italy and soon after in Spain. They began as a public showing of devotion to the crucified Christ, and penance for one's sins. These less ostentatious processions made up initially of men flogging themselves and small groups carrying rudimentary wooden crosses, quickly acquired great importance in those dark times. The penitents believed that they gained merit in the eyes of God so that He would not send the plague or other prevalent evils of the period on their families as punishment for their sins. Today they believe they are fulfilling their promise to participate in this annual ritual in exchange for prayers answered or to be answered. With the arrival of the Baroque period and greater affluence, the social importance and opulence of these processions augmented, developing into an event similar to what takes place today.
The current traditional garb, full of symbolism, was established during this period of the 17th century. The tunic, cinched at the waist with a rope, imitates Christ's vestments during his ascent to Calgary. The antifaz, or mask, covers the penitent's face and upper torso in shame for his sins. The capirote, or the cone-like hood holds the mask in place, and according to one source, represents drawing nearer to God, like the church steeples of the same shape. The many colors of vestments seen in the processions throughout Andalucia are symbolic of the related religious orders and other origins of the Brotherhoods. One can easily speculate as to the reason behind the American's Ku Klux Klan's adoption of these vestments for their own.

Today’s processions include the principal throne which depicts a scene from Christ’s Passion through artistically sculpted human like figures placed on a carpet of hundreds of flowers which cover the intricately carved base of polished or gilded wood or silver. They are accompanied at the end of the procession by a throne of the mourning Virgin Mary. The “virgin’s” vary in size and elegance, but they all don a manto or cloak usually made of velvet and embroidered in gold and silver to the end of it’s majestic length, which can vary from two to six meters. The thrones take up to 250 Hombres de Trono, men who carry them on their shoulders, to parade them throughout the city for 4 to 8 hours from sunset until the wee hours of the morning.

The procession is completed by its contingent of Nazarenos or Penitentes (Nazareans or Penitents) accompanying the thrones on their annual pilgrimage among the faithful. Anywhere from 200 to 750 of the up to 5000 Brothers of each brotherhood (please do not call them members) pay their annual dues and event fee for the right to don a velvet tunic in Brotherhood's colors that range from black and/or white to green, burgundy, blue or purple the liturgical color of mourning. They usually are composed of a 50/50 mix of men and women covered from head to toe in this Ku Klux Klan looking garb, forming a somewhat disconcerting army. And each throne is accompanied by it’s own musical bands, altar boys wafting incense along the route, brotherhood officials bearing their identifying banners, and a group of faithful followers sometimes barefoot, sometimes blindfolded, no doubt fulfilling one of their promises in exchange for answered prayers. It can take over an hour for the entire contingent to pass by.

These processions inspire abundant spontaneous applause, a clamoring of piropos, (old-fashioned prose-style compliments) and heart-felt saetas (Flamenco style songs, performed solo, as reverence to the Christ and Virgin images) from their passionate multitude of followers lining the streets throughout its several hour route. Malaga boasts 38 Brotherhoods, Seville - 42, and they exist from the other large cities to the tiniest pueblos all over Andalucía just to exemplify the cultural and religious importance of the Holy Week celebrations that Spain immerses itself in year after year.

Happy Birthday

2009-03-27T23:33:00.002+01:00

Today is my mother's birthday, she would have been 68.
Happy Birthday Mom. I wonder what you would be doing now, be retired? Travelling? Of course you'd be travelling, it was your lifeblood. Still married to DP? Still in Va.? Would we be together today? So many questions on the big What if... What if you hadn't died at 60?
Well, we can't change any of it, but I need to wish you happy birthday, and imagine giving you a hug. Know what happened to me today? I still wear your long pink and white cardigan and I hung it on a hanger on the laundry line to dry today. As I ran my hand down it to see if it was dry I imagined you in it, and gave it a hug, and flung the empty sleeves around my shoulders and tried to imagine you hugging me back. It didn't really work, you weren't really there. No, you are in my heart, in my thoughts, in my soul...today and always. Happy Birthday Mom, I love you.

Obama on Leno

2009-03-20T22:26:00.004+01:00

Barak Obama’s appearance on last night’s Jay leno show was splashed all over the Spanish news stations this morning. Initially I thought it was a cool thing, a president making himself available on a popular level. He’s our age, we can relate to him, he – hopefully – can relate to us. Up until a couple of years ago he lived a life similar to many of ours, with concerns for improving community life, for the education and well being of his daughters, with interest in sports, keeping fit, music, new restaurants, he came and went as he pleased.
Now he is responsible for navigating our country through tumultuous times on a global level, and an unprecedented economic crisis nationally, and he is a well known, highly protected figure world wide.
When I heard the news repeated this afternoon on CNN Int’l. I suddenly questioned his appearance on Leno. Presidents have always been above “popular” shows – and in some cases above news programs and interviews as well, they have their prestige, eliteness, reputation, aura to protect… or in some cases to create.
So I asked myself if it is good or bad that President Obama appeared on the Jay leno show. My personal jury is still out on the question. What do you think?

Masks

2009-03-18T11:36:00.005+01:00

She places the mask over her face.

Not to hide but to transform.

To flirt and laugh and tease and enchant.

To pass unnoticed, to observe, spy, gather gossip.

To pretend to be another - an absent friend, to gain revenge.

The mask covers my face

and another facet is revealed.

Is it my bosom and hips or

is it my hidden heart or harlot?

Does the mask transform or liberate?

Is liberation a transformation?

After the Storm

2009-03-15T20:41:00.003+01:00

From Weekend Wordsmith: Ice

He’s coated with ice after our storm; stiff and cold. What did I do to deserve this? Say no once too often? Say yes once too often? To who, to what? To living my life. But I didn’t want or expect this. He won’t speak to me, he won’t touch me, he won’t kiss me, he barely looks at me, he’s rigid and frozen. I’ll have to shine my warmth on him, melt his ice of indifference slowly, bit by bit, until he’s that strong, yet flexible branch that reaches out for me and holds me when I alight; that offers me rest, comfort and support. And my springtime rays will remind him how he also sways freely, blossoms and grows when I am not perched on him. And he will recall how lovely we are together, when he grows and I fly.

New Look - New Entries

2009-03-05T18:27:00.003+01:00

Yes, I have been absent for awhile, two months since my last entry. Let's see if new colors lead to new inspirations, new thoughts, new musings. The newness of Spring, oh no - the nuisence of Spring too. It always brings alergies (to these beautiful but hateful Mimosa trees), physical tiredness, the agitation of March winds.

Our winter has been unusually cold and wet. Those lovely crisp sunny days have been few and far between and my spirit misses them and the motivation they bring to be outside, to walk, to be warmed and energized by the sun, to create.

Thank goodness I live here, I will hold hope that the weekend will bring back the sun, and my herb treatments will hold the allergy symptoms at bay.

Happy New Year (a bit late)

2009-01-07T21:21:00.001+01:00

May the dawning of a New Year that presents economic changes and uncertainties
present you with the beauty of a sunrise, the hope of a new day, the warmth of a
summer evening, the peace of a walk in the woods
and gratitude for all the abundant blessings that surround us.

May your riches in 2009 be new insights, personal growth and prosperity of the soul.

Feliz Año Nuevo – Happy New Year

Much Love, Amy

My Culinary Heart

2008-12-07T09:02:00.002+01:00

Someone is frying bacon. My mouth waters. I smell it from my balcony, where I sit bundled up watching the shrouded sunrise and listening to the busy birds. The cacophony of summer is gone, only the familiar murmuring of our year round birds remains to welcome me to morning.
I smell bacon, my mouth waters, my imagination goes to a luscious breakfast of eggs, what kind, poached, scrambled? The left overs of yeseterday’s crusty bread toasted and buttered, MMmmm, crunchy bacon (of course) fresh squeezed orange juice... How can I just eat yogurt and fruit, to loose 5 kilos, when I smell bacon, my mouth waters and my culinary heart takes over?

The Rains Are Coming

2008-11-25T16:49:00.003+01:00

The rains are coming despite the clear sky. The wind unsettles the atmosphere, there is an uneasy energy about. The wood animals scuttle, the dog prances, the horse paces, the cat chases, the fish dart. I cannot complete any one thing - skipping from one unfinished task to another, from one fleeting thought to the next. The rains are coming; I must store the cushions, cover the bikes, push the garden furniture under cover. I must bring in dry wood, pull down the laundry. I must look for the warmer bedspread, find my closed shoes and rain jacket.

Journal entry from Oct. 8th

2008-11-25T16:10:00.004+01:00

I came across this yesterday, I wrote it over a month ago, while having tea at an outdoor cafe that overlooks the sea and a distant monolith with a statue on top that reminded me of an angel. These thoughts seem so poignant at this time when we are feeling the grips of the crisis - 4 months of uemployment and reduced billings for the household breadwinners. I must keep the faith, keep the thanks, keep the prayers, keep the love.

My Guardian Angel:

There she is, my guardian angel. What is she protecting me from? Where is she guiding me to? Why is it a she? Becasue I see her silhouette hovering above the sea, hair flowing, delicate eyes caring, hands reaching out. She is protecting me from all evil, there is no bad in my life: no theft, no physical harm nor threat of harm, no cheating, no back stabbing, no hate. She protects me from falls: I may stumble in momentary doubt, but never fall in complete negativity. I may come across a set back or a longer distance than anticipated, but never feel lost nor defeated. She protects me from finacial difficulty. I may have periods of lesser abundance, but never want for comfort. I may have unexpected expenses, but they are somehow always met, even when there has not been a clear source at hand.

She is guiding me through life, checking my humility, guarding me from greed, showing me compassion, always keeping me in love. She reminds me to be tempered, to seek wisdom; God's, mine, other's who have walked this path before me.

Silently, invisibly my guadian angel protects and guides me.

Obama Inspired!

2008-11-06T00:06:00.003+01:00

YAAAY We did it! We voted in a man who prefers:

peace vs. war

helping the struggling vs. insisiting it's the fault of their own laziness and negating them support

keeping in check greedy corporations vs. turning a blind eye to their abusive tactics because of their economic power

pulling everyone together to promote change from bottom up vs. the haves dictating change (or lack there of) from a condescending podium of control

multi-racial participation vs. white control

...and how hopeful I feel, despite all the HUGE problems to address.

He did it again with his acceptance speech, INSPIRING, hope he can keep it up!

Musings on Mad Men

2008-09-23T13:04:00.005+02:00

Mad Men just broke the record for the most number of Emmy's won in one year. We get that show on one of our satelite channels and although I didn't see every episode I can more or less follow it. I enjoy it - I like remembering the fashions and decor of the sixties which is such a huge part of the shows quality level. The soap opera story hooks you. Many of the characters are quite attractive, both men and women. I like confirming how far women have come since then in terms of equality, respect, dignity - the way the men speak to some of those women (and about them when they are not present) is downright indignanat.

And this brings me to my musings - Why remind us of how lowly we were treated and we allowed oursleves to be treated? Is it to ensure that we don't retrocede? Or is it a sublime psycholigical ploy to let men know that once they were "superior"? I believe by giving so much coverage to something, even if the purpose is to denounce it, you are validating it to those that may feel the same way but had feared it because they felt they were the only ones. Take social problems like violence against women, pedofiles, or drug users. The more these acts are recognized in the media, it seems the more they are committed.

So the more this superior attitude towards women is glamorized by this series, (it has a glamorous feel - the clothes, the decor, the drinks..) the more we are encouraging certain types of men to perhaps aspire to it once again?

Just some things I ask myself when I find myself drawn to this program and incensed by it at the same time.

Journal Entry from Sept. 22, 2008

2008-09-23T12:18:00.003+02:00

Glory Days!
Glory days are here again -both daughters back at school, lovely breezes and temperatures. The house stays neat, quiet and comfortable. I sit at my desk uninterrupted and get work done. New ideas start to flow, creativity is awakened and inspiration follows. How grand to feel productive and forward moving again, how grand that Fall has arrived!

Journal entry from Aug. 11 2008

2008-09-23T11:47:00.005+02:00

The Inner Conflict of Lazy Days of Summer

In this moderate climate where I live, where neither winter nor summer temperatures are extreme (usually), our home is not air conditioned. Normally I enjoy feeling the difference in the seasons that this offers. Sundresses and strappy tops to keep cool in the summer heat of a home refreshed only by ceiling fans and a cross breeze; summer fashion that I must cover up with a sweater when I visit the air conditioned U.S. The layering of a turtle neck and sweater in the winter to keep warm in a house heated by a fireplace and space heaters; layers I must reduce when I am in centrally heated homes further North in Spain or in the U.S.

I like feeling the fresh air, the rise and fall of temperatures between day and night, the breezes from both sea and land; it feels more natural more in tuned with nature, I tell myself. There is a change of pace here in southern Spain, as the temperature rises and the holiday-makers invade. It reminds me of times of the past when people still lived the rhythms of the seasons; when “lazy days of summer” were natural, necessary and accepted.

Now central air conditioning and heating means, in most places, that our rhythm - our pace of life - must remain the same all year round. Winter used to mean staying close to the fire to keep warm, reading, sewing, knitting, making love, sleeping – activities to cherish in the long, cold winter months; a time of rest and repose - of inner reflection preparing for Spring and its growth. Spring and Fall were busy times, full of planting, sowing and harvesting, and readying for the winter. Summers were spent outdoors, in company of friends and neighbors, at a slower pace sanctioned by the high temperatures and long days. Repairs were made, canning and putting up for other seasons completed, life’s bounty enjoyed. Now we must all live the same pace, the same productivity, the same activity all year round – our body’s rhythms pressed to the max, out of whack with the earth’s natural rhythms.

Most summers I am glad not to have air conditioning, to consume less energy, spend less money and to feel more in tune with nature. However, in this exceptionally humid summer, my body is more in tune, it is exhausted, but my mind is influenced by modern demands and expectations. I have this inner conflict about what I feel capable of doing and what I think I should be doing during these hot Aug. days: preparing my activities for the Fall, making a marketing plan to be contracted for more activities, research for new programs to develop. The air conditioned American in me is hard on myself and pushes my mind to get busy, but the Spaniard in me recognizes that the pace is different here, and just wants to kick my feet up in the shade and read.
Today at 100 degrees with high humidity and hormones I long for those air conditioned days where one can work and relax with out getting sweaty and sticky, one can sleep through the night without waking up drenched in sweat, the room full of light from the street lamps because it’s too hot to cover the open windows with curtains or shades. One has more energy, one is more productive, one is not so hard on oneself for feeling so tired and lazy in these long days of summer.

NOTHING

2008-09-21T19:14:00.002+02:00

Prompt from Weekend Wordsmith:

I've had nothing to say, it's all too blue, self doubting, pessimistic. I do not want to ponder on the sad, on the worried, on the what if's, so I have stayed away. I was taught that if you have nothing good to say than don't say anything at all. Unconsciously I have been applying that to my blog this summer...and to my life. Nothing is wrong, nothing will be lost, nothing has changed, nothing, nothing, nothing - except something, somewhere inside.

Morning Haze

2008-07-25T23:48:00.003+02:00

This morning haze,
oppressive and opaque,
clouds my view
confuses the horizon.

Blue sky and sea
suddenly greyed.
Light sunny days
now heavy with humidity.

Like lead,
it weighs me down.
Like a shrouded veil,
it impairs my vision.
Like depression,
it suffocates optimism and
resuscitates doubt and fear.

A Feast For The Eyes!

2008-07-12T18:11:00.007+02:00

Sex In The City - the movie. I took my daughters and a couple of their friends to see the movie out of curiosity, to see what would finlly happen with Carrie and Big, looking to be entertained and looking for "cool" entertainment (as in air conditioned on a hot seaside day.) I didn't expect to like it so much, I didn't expect to think about it so much afterwards, and I didn't expect such a FEAST FOR THE EYES! (Nor to be so enchanted by the feast)

The clothes, the shoes..of course..., the way the women were put so perfectly together, their makeup, their hair, the accesories. Of course they had it all. Not to mention the new homes they decorated, the clubs and restaurants they went to: it was all like being at a luxurious buffet table, not sure where to start, and trying to be sure to save room for the desserts....Dante, Smith, even Steve....

I surprised myself at this reaction, as I am no longer the clothes fiend I was in my twenties, and have become quite against spending $500 on shoes or any other accessory for that matter, not to mention $5000 for a purse. My daughters now receive the lion's share of our household fashion budget, and anything over 50 Euros is a rare purchase in this household. I shudder to think what each outfit with all included was worth, and how many starving families in South America that money could feed. But I was enthralled, impressed, and for a short time envious. It was beautiful, and I fantasized about being a part of it. I guess that's part of the great succes of the series and the movie, the fantasies they inspire in us.

Then there's the friendship thing in that foursome that has kept so many of us, of such a wide range of ages, coming back season after season to feel a part of their evolution. When I asked my daughters after the movie why they thought it was so, my 18 year old wisely said "because we see ourselves reflected in them". I wondered in what part an 18 year old just beginning her adult life and sexual acitivity would see herself reflected, but refrained from asking - at that moment.

In which one do I see myself reflected? In only one? No I think there's a part of each of them in all of us, whether real or dreamed about. That's why we keep coming back season after season to cry, to laugh, to celebrate, to criticize with them, as if we too were at that breakfast table every week.

The movie has been floating around in my mind for much longer than most films do, and I keep asking myself why? I think because of the maturing, growing, evolving issues that it manifests. The questions of love and how it affects our lives. Commitment, self sacrifice for another, making changes and adaptions for the good of all, communication, forgiveness and becoming someone else as we mature. Where am I on all these issues, in my 40's like they are? I've been married for 21 years, have made the commitment, sacrifcie and adaptions, become someone different than I expected I'd be at this age, and thus the movie has made me think about it all. Am I happy with who I am and the way I've gotten here? Am I glad I don't need (read because I can't afford?) all those clothes and night clubs and status symbols to be happy and feel like I'm somebody. Would I be able to live as a single woman in New York, or any other major U.S. city for that matter? Would I want to? Maybe, sometimes, no, well perhaps in the future.

And as these questions slowly recede I come back to those peacock and rhinestone Manolo's and imagine what it might feel like to wear $500 high heels. Maybe I could last more than 20 minutes in those....maybe I could be just as gorgeous if I had all that money and time to spend on only me...

I look over my balcony from where I write this at the shimmering blue Med through swaying palms and remember my midnight skinny dip in our pool with my husband last night and think; girl you have a great life, come back from Hollywood fantasy and enjoy it!

Campeones, Campeones!

2008-07-05T10:31:00.006+02:00

We can't take our eyes off the screen as tension builds towards the end of the 1-0 match !

Victory at last! Eurpean Champions after forty some years!! Our celebrating takes to the street and lasts for hours! Adults and kids alike....

Campeones, Campeones, Oh eee Oh eee Oh EE!

GOOOOOL! Football Unites!

2008-06-27T01:30:00.005+02:00

Spain has been on it's non-relenting quest for the European Cup Football (soccer) championship since late May. The games in the qualifying rounds were all won easily, to qualify for quarter finals. Bit by bit Spanish flags began to appear on balconies and red Spain t-shirts became more prevelant. Spain won the quarter final game against our 80 year nemesis Italy, in a penalty kick shoot out in overtime. Trumpets and noise makers were blown, horns honked in plazas and on the streets, cheers and chants shouted off balconies and out back yards. More flags appeared on houses and aptartment terraces and cars begin to don the gold and red flag.

Tonight Spain beat Russia 3-0 in semi-finals to qualify for the final against Germany on Sunday for the first time in I don't know how many decades. More flags, a sea of red shirts, more noise making and celebrating, by basques, caltalans and everyone in bewteen. Our nationalist differences are set aside for a glorious few weeks to support our national football team and display a Spanish patriotism that is rarely visible and usually criticized when done so in non-sports circumstances.

What a glorious thing this Football that unites. More parties, more celebrations, more joy and a united Spain. GOOOOOOL!!! España! PODEMOS!

Beach, Bon Fires and Traditions

2008-06-27T00:53:00.004+02:00

On the 23rd of June, the eve of the feast of St. John the Baptist (San Juan) Spain incorporates a pagan summer solstice tradition into the religious calendar. On this night, fire in many forms is the protagonist of ther festivities all over the country. Here in Málaga everyone goes to the beach, many bring elaborate bbq paraphanelia to roast chops, ribs, chorizos, sauges and / or sardines over open fires. Big pits are set up with lots of wooden stuff, (much salvaged from garbage and recycling centres) to ignite bonfires after midnight. The fire rids the soul of evil spirits, especially if you leap over the dancing flames. At midnight they go into the sea to cleanse and purify the soul, (or just for the crazy experience of it) for a blessed and bountiful summer. Then there are impressive fire work displays over the sea in most coastal towns.

My husband's family were not originally from Malaga nor a coastal town, and thus, did not initiate their kids into the tradition, so I dragged my husband to the beach (he hates big crowds) with a cold picninc and beers to feel part of the celebrations. It is great people watching, and it always amazes and impresses me. People of all ages and several nationalities party and celebrate side beside with no conflict, problems, nor run-ins. Family's with little kids, groups of teenagers, groups of twenty-somethings, older people, mid age groups. They enjoy and let enjoy, no judging, no harassing. They're all their, they're all happy, they're all elaborate in their food, fires and friends. I love it!

We were on our own, but ended up by chance close to my daughter and her huge school crowd. It was enlightening and comforting to see her, unaware of our presence, in her crowd. She laughed a lot, moved easliy from one group to another, and went completely into the water at midnight and again 30 minutes later - her and a bunch of mostly guys. I got cold just watching her.

As we waited for the fireworks my husband and I cuddled in the blanket, (the sea breeze was chilly to our 40 something bodies) and he sang me the classic romantic Spanish songs he used to sing to me and taped for me before we were married. Amongst noise and craziness of all kinds we managed to form our own little cocoon and just enjoy the stars, each other and the happiness of our daughter two groups over.

No bon fire leaping, no cleansing in the sea, but a positive way to start the summer, and enjoy the way everyone enjoys life and repects traditions here.

Storyteller

2008-06-23T19:55:00.005+02:00

I am a Storyteller,
a provocateur of thought and reflection

Buried in my soul,
is the one of me that seeks to offer joy, inspire hope, awaken dreams

I transform my transparent self
into a magical mysterious enchantress
capable of casting a spell of new insight and understanding

There are tales
from ancient times and distant lands that I have been told to tell

This is one of my Sacred Contracts
to share different cultures, open doors, ignite imaginations,
and awaken understanding

I am a Storyteller,
a provocateur of thought and reflection

Meme from To Taste a Peach

2008-06-19T07:36:00.003+02:00

What were you doing 10 years ago?
In 1998 –
We were preparing our move from Madrid to Malaga with great joy and anticipation, looking forward to leaving the big city and all of its disadvantages…and advantages, and embrace life by the sea, among family and in a house instead of an apartment.

I had recently realized I wanted to leave business and management consulting behind, and had begun creative writing again and other creative activities.

I had met and become friends with someone who was a help in that arena, then disappeared, and who has come back into my life as a catalyst in my new reading promotion activities now, 10 years later.

My mother was still alive, so important in the changes I have undergone from then to now.

My girls were 5 and 8, full of promise, excitement, wonder, fun… all in that innocent loving manner that changes in the teenage years we are experiencing today.

To do list for today-

Pick up house after 4 days away.
Go to grocery store
Lat day of Padel Class and group breakfast after
Fix a good healthy lunch for the family
Polish my writing pieces from my trip to send to friends and post on blog.
Meet with local bookstore owner to discuss summer and other future activities
Catch up on e-mails
Accompany my daughter to her favourite store to see the dress she wants
Get spoiling time for my husband who is going through difficult days at work.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

To improve my own life I would change houses to one that had a separate guest house so that it would be easier for friends and family to spend time with us. It would not be a huge mansion but bigger than I have now with a bit more land. I would have a 2nd residence in the US. I would have daily help to do the cleaning washing house keeping and some some cooking, to leave me time to dedicate to creativity and developing other projects.
I would finance the volleyball team and youth sports project my husband would establish and run.

To improve the world I would set up a foundation, or become an influencing voice in an established one (money brings power and facilitates this) in order to help form businesses that work towards: reducing our dependency on oil; resolving water needs and related issues in third world countries; supporting and developing local entrepreneurs in those countries to be able to create jobs for their own people and develop their own country.

To improve the life of our family members I would offer a set amount for each sibling to allow them to own a home and/or start a business endeavour, and for each parent and/or aunt and uncle to allowi them to live comfortably and without financial worry in retirement.

4. What are three of your bad habits?
1. Procrastination
2. Leaving things out of place allowing clutter to collect and make the room messy.
3. Allowing the negative thoughts and chatter to spend time in my mind, slowing down my progress and growth.

5. What are some snacks you enjoy?
· Popcorn
· Chips and dip
· Nuts
· Cheese
· A cookie now and then and a square of chocolate or one Hershey Kiss

6. What were the last five books you read?
You must keep in mind that I earn my living (or a salary that one day will be enough to consider a living) through reading programs and creative writing workshops so I must read a lot. These books I read in May and June.
· The Zahir by Paolo Coehlo
· The Lady and the Unicorn by Tracy Chevalier
· Maridos (Husbands) by Angeles Mastretta (Mexican author)
· Elogio a una Madrastra (Ode to a Stepmother) by Vargas Llosa (Peruvian author)
· The Purple Hibuscus – A novel from Africa by a young African woman whose name I cannot recall.
· Three young adult short novels for the youth reading group I facilitate, including The Boy in the Striped Pajamas in both Spanish and English.

7. What are five jobs you have had?
1. Current – Story teller, reading promoter, creative writing coach.
2. Fundraiser then Fundraising and Communications Manager for local Cancer Hospice
3. Management Consultant focusing on systems improvement, then on Customer Service and Leadership.
4. Travel Agent
5. Airline ground agent

8. What are five places where you have lived?
1. Spain – Madrid, Barcelona, Granada, Malaga
2. USA – Washinton DC suburbs in Virginia (where I grew up)
3. San Diego (As a single adult)
4. Dallas Texas (As a single adult)
5. Phoenix Arizona (as a child)

9. What five people do you want to tag?
Vale of Evening Fog
Bonnie at Wordsmith
Frankelscence
Marginal Views

Food for Thought 1

2008-05-25T20:57:00.003+02:00

This is from the article The Bus vs. the Bear from the Washington Post, written by Tom Howarth. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/23/AR2008052302610.html

" The former head of the Jesuit order, Father Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, once said that there are not enough resources in the world for all peoples to be brought up to middle-class American standards of living. Something has to give. We have to learn to slow down and live simpler lives so that others can simply live. "

What a quote, I love it! It reminds me of:

"Don't live within your means, but rather within your needs."
I think we all need to reconsider what we really "need" to live well and happy. Not Huge SUV's, $1000 designer handbags, 4000 sq feet of living space....
An insulated place to live that protects from the weather's worst faces, enough food and water to survive and keep healthy, a few outfits (vs. closets full of them) , decent health care, to name the important few.
Of course with what's happening with the prices of these, our means may soon only cover our basic "needs".
Why didn't we think of this sooner? Don't get me going on that one..or just read the previous post.

The Superclass - Definition, Comments and Reflections

2008-05-13T11:26:00.005+02:00

They're Global Citizens. They're Hugely Rich. And They Pull the Strings.
By David RothkopfSunday, The Washington Post - May 4, 2008; B01

We didn't elect them. We can't throw them out. And they're getting more powerful every day.
Call them the superclass.
At the moment, Americans are fixated on the political campaign. In the meantime, many are missing a reality of the global era that may matter much more than their presidential choice: On an ever-growing list of issues, the big decisions are being made or profoundly influenced by a little-understood international network of business, financial, government, cultural and military leaders who are beyond the reach of American voters.
In addition to top officials, these people include corporate executives, leading investors, top bankers, media moguls, heads of state, generals, religious leaders, heads of terrorist and criminal organizations and a handful of important cultural and scientific figures. Each of these roughly 6,000 individuals is set apart by their power and ability to regularly influence millions of lives across international borders. The group is not monolithic, but none is more globalized or has more influence over the direction in which the global era is heading.

The above paragraphs were the opening of an interesting article from the Washington Post, that I sent to many of my firends and family. What it argues I have heard in conferences here in Spain and have been observing for a few years now. Scarey, truly scarey.

Below is just my own quick refelction and prediction on what will happen that I sent in an on-going e-mail conversation with my conservative uncle. It seems we are in agreement on the problem and plight. We just disagree tremendously on how to address it. (See earlier article on Proud to be a Liberal)

" The superclass exists in all of the developed parts of the world. Question is whether they really want to see wealth redistributed in a more equitable manner."

" It’s so true in the First World in general, although the social safety nets here in Europe , (health care, unemployment, training, housing help) help keep the middle class from falling into poverty levels when difficult times, like now, come. I think this difficult period is the beginning of major changes, and getting through them is gonna’ be tough, with or without the safety nets. I truly believe a major shift is coming, and the US will perhaps be a big loser. Things are so out of balance globally– the environment, our values…consume, consume, consume, to keep an economy going when other people’s food chain and supplies are declining or non-existant,, the declining value of human life for so many, the pace we try and keep up with to keep earning to keep spending, which keeps worsening the environment, which hurts the have nots more than the haves….like I said out of balance. "
Well, how did I get there? I just have been observing it from that perspective for a long time.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T21:19:00.005+02:00

My Daughter's and I in Paris in Feb.

I celebrate Mother's Day twice. The first celebration is for me as a mother, I celebrated it last Sunday on Spain’s Mother’s Day. I gave myself a lovely day, decided to stay home and not go out among the noisy Spanish throng of extended families, but rather, enjoy the peace and tranquility of our own garden that my husband has been working on for days. It looks so impressive, the pool is clean, the fountain’s running. So our comida, just the fours of us, on our patio was prettier than any restaurant could offer. I did a leg of lamb on our gas BBQ and served it with the new potatoes steamed with butter and parsley, green beans, baby broccoli and beets from the garden of my new organic supplier, even made a gravy with the lamb juices, MMMmmmm. I made a pear crumble for dessert and served it with ice cream. A Rioja Reserva, and a quiet afternoon. Couldn’t have asked for more! Did lots of reading in the sun in the morning and then again after lunch while my husband watched tennis and the girls, who had late nights the night before, had naps. It felt good not to have any obligation of any kind at any time. Can’t remember the last time I had a day like that…Well today is sort of like that.

Today, the second Mother's Day celebration, on America's Mother's Day I celebrate for my mother. It was the Cudeca Cancer Hospice (where I used to work) Walkathon this morning, the 6th edition. This is the first year I was NOT involved in the organization of it, so I walked as a participant. I thought it was the appropriate way of remembering my Mom who died of cancer 7 years ago. Afterwards, I sat for awhile and enjoyed the entertainment with a girlfriend, who lost her mother a few months ago to cancer, a patient of the hospice, and we talked about how the parts of the walk we did alone were important to us.

She called me later at home and told me she'd done some writing when she got home and had written something for me. Then she read me a poem in English (she's Argentinian) about how we were not alone, but how our Mom's were there, carrying us along, folding us in their silk and cotton, from both sides of the ocean. Of course tears came, and I could barely speak, but I was so touched by how insightful it was and how special a gift she gave me on Mother's Day.

I like having two days, one for me and one for her, never shining one over the other, each celebrated for all they mean independantly.

A long way to my heart

2008-05-11T20:47:00.006+02:00

It is a long way to my heart, that phrase has been in my mind when I've thought of my journal writing lately. Why is it a long way to my heart? It seems to me that it is just under the surface, close, always open and reaching out. How can it be a long way to my heart? Is it buried? Buried under what? Under my husband and kids, under my work? Or has it run off to a distant place? Is that place my homeland, my family my roots? That must be it, since as I write these lines emotions rise up in my chest, tears well and would fall if I let them. My homeland; I often criticise it from afar, but secretly I long to know how I might feel, back in its bosom. My roots, my family; I long to see my brother -rekindle our comraderie, to enjoy his wife's optimisim. I miss his children and dream of being a more active presence in their lives. His oldest, 11, so much like him physically, is he personality wise? I don't know, but I think so. His second, 8, so determined in his quests, whatever they have been, may be and may become at each stage of his growing up. And his little girl, 5, so cute, so like my mother in her looks, has she got my mother's soul?

That must be where my heart is, in that faraway place of my homeland, my family, my roots. I soon will go after it and that other part of me, in the United States.

The Story Lady

2008-04-30T12:54:00.006+02:00

I am the Story Lady, El Hada de los Cuentos. Last Spring while lying in bed, thinking of my creative writing workshop endeavors, a vision came to me of myself reading stories to children in the beautiful park we enjoy in the heart of our town. So I found an image that I liked, made up the name, and decided to go to the park two evenings a week to do this reading. I mentioned it to the Library Director, a friend of mine, who put in touch with proper authorities to get "permission" to do this. Of course a free, cultural, beneficial activity, received full support from the Town Hall.

I chose different children's books each week from the library, and agreed to "borrow" and return undamaged newer titles from the local book store, and set off to do my reading.

I chose peak playground days and time: Tuesdays and Fridays at 8pm (Spanish hours you know) and brought with me a beach chair for me to sit on, a blanket for the kids to sit on, a homemade easle and poster to present the endeavor. I made flyers anouncing the activity, the days and times of my reading, and the books read that week, and handed them out to all the parents with their kids at the playground.

The first day I had 6 - 8 kids.

As July progressed the crowd grew, and a following developed: kids and their parents came specifically to hear the Story Lady. I don't know who enjoyed it more: me, the kids or the parents?

This has lead to paid reading activities for both adults and kids, in both Spanish and English through the Library. Regular paid readings at local book stores, and now I'm being approached by local publisher's sales teams to work for them in their promotional activities.

With the arrival of good weather and daylight until 9pm I am back at the park one Saturday a moth and will be there once a week in the summer, this time paid by the library. This vision has become my new path, that brings me and so many others such pleasure. I love sharing with others how ENJOYABLE reading is - for all ages and of all types of books. I am the Story Lady and my following is growing.

Take Me Back - Weekend Wordsmith

2008-04-13T17:51:00.004+02:00

Take me back to swings and mountain breeze
Take me back to grandma's pancakes and biscuits
Take me back to the comfort and security of that crackling fire

Take me back to days of long awaited homecomings
Take me back to my favourite meals and flowers on the dresser
Take me back to being cherished and spoiled

Take me back to Redskins games on cold fall days
Take me back to the warmth of your laughter and strength of your wisdom
Take me back to story time cuddled against your side

Take me back to slow summer days filled with imagination and laziness
Take me back to playing in the creek, catching fireflies, grandpapa's piano
Take me back to garden vegetables picked that day for supper, and homemade pies for dessert

Take me back to those care free childhood times
When I was loved, protected, cherished, free to be
Take me back to those warm, wonderful embraces
when time stood still and I just was.....

Menu Follow Up

2008-04-09T13:44:00.002+02:00

The Sunday Menu:

White fish fillets pan grilled with herbs
Accompanied by a mushroom white wine cream sauce
Garlic Rice
Steamed Aspragus
Fresh Fruit Salad

All plates bread mopped clean!

Served at a properly set table with lit candle and background Spanish ballads playing, catalyst to conversation about details of weekend activities and dates, laughter about silly anecdotes from school, memories from our own teen years and plans for the week's activities.

That's why I'm still motivated to prepare and serve proper, healthy meals, they are the catalyst and foundation to family conversation and communication in a time when TV's, computers, telephones, activities, keep us all in our own individual worlds!

What's on the Menu?

2008-04-05T20:36:00.005+02:00

Menu:

Queso y Fruta
Verduras Crudas con “dip” especial
Roscos
Vichysoisse
Ensalada del Mar
Crepes de delicias del bosque con espárragos
Postre de fruta y chocolate
Vino Blanco y Cava

I spend a lot of time thinking about “what’s on the menu.” Out of nowhere I’ll ask my husband what he’d like to eat the next day for our “comida” (our main meal that we eat between 2 and 3pm, as is the Spanish tradition). Or he’ll ask me on a night that we both lay restless in bed what I’m thinking about, and I’ll answer “what I’m going to fix for comida tomorrow.”
“How can you think about food all the time, when you’re not even hungry?”
How do I explain it’s not only the food, but also how to schedule my day in order to fix the food, that I’m planning. It’s all based on the workshops I have, the time a dish takes to prepare, if I need leftovers because I won’t be home for lunch later in the week, and finally any ingredients I might need. Well, and of course, what I feel like eating, since they usually don’t tell me what they’d like to eat when I ask.

When I pick my 15 year old daughter up from school I ask what she has eaten at school (she’s the only one who doesn’t eat at home during the week, because of her school schedule) so that I can pick our supper menu accordingly, filling in the things she missed out on, and not repeating eggs or meat. Our supper is usually like an American lunch: sandwiches, soup, maybe an omelet, a salad, or a pasta dish. Often everyone makes their own, but the proper, healthy ingredients must be there.

I put a lot of my mental and physical energy in this meal planning, and the shopping that goes along with it. This supermarket here for lowest prices, this fresh vegetable shop there where the things are locally grown and, although not guaranteed organic, are more naturally produced and more flavorful. The market with the best fish this week, the butchers with the locally grown meet next week, to stock the freezer. (Luckily all this is affordable and easily available here on the Costa del Sol.) The meals must be healthy, which means no pre-prepared, highly processed ingredients. They must be balanced, which means: at least two kinds of vegetables; not huge amounts of protein; a healthy carbohydrate, and not high in fats. (OK I know many diets say we should eat proteins and carbs separately, but I often serve them together.) And legumes at least once a week. (I learned that from my Spanish mother in law.) I try and get us all to eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, not always successfully but at least it’s a conscious objective. My daughters have been hearing since they’ve been little “You have to eat your green today!”

In my planning I must keep in mind what my daughters like, so that they will fill up on this healthy meal I serve, and not the junk food they can get while they’re in town if they’ve only eaten a little because they didn’t like it. I have tried to teach them to eat everything, but…well if you’re a Mom you know how it goes.

I love to use leftovers. My challenge to myself is how to use something leftover to make a completely new and different dish. My record was at a family gathering where I used 7 things from two previous meals to make the most delicious Shepherds Pie that everyone loved.

This is the veggie pasta casserole that I made for comida this week with ground beef and chicken (broken up patties that thawed when my husband generously defrosted the freezer the night before) and sautéed zucchini and red pepper salad left over from two different meals earlier in the week, plus an array of other freshly added veggies herbs, and parmesan cheese. Not bad for making it up when I went to bed the night before trying to figure out how to feed three adults with three thin patties that had just thawed out by mistake.

And this is my version of a Greek salad I served that evening for supper, with leftover steamed green beans and broccoli thrown in that would have turned bad if I didn’t use them up quick. We had more than our 5 servings of fruit and vegetables that day!

So what’s on the menu for tomorrow? Come back and find out, I haven’t looked in the freezer (nor gone to bed) yet!

Letting Go

2008-03-30T19:50:00.003+02:00

I have let go of the assumption that my daughters will go to university.
I have let go of pre-determined images of their adult lives.
I have let go of assuming that being intellectual is the key to their happiness and success;
- it is my key, but not everyone's.
I have let go of my desires for more and more material possessions;
- they are acquiring theirs.
I have let go of the notion that I can still "guide" my daughters;
- I can only love them and make myself available to support them when they feel they need it.
I have let go of the assumption that they will live and love like me.
I have let go of the sermons of why living like me, or like I think they should live, should be their living path.

It is a challenging road, this one of letting go.
It has been a gradual realization as we have advanced along our path;
- my values of a different generation and a different culture are not the same values by which they navigate their lives in today's Spain.

I can only hope that the core values of love, respect, integrity, understanding and giving, that we have shown them by our life examples, will have influenced them more than our words of sermons and lecturing have done.

Of all these things, as a mother, I have let go....or so I tell myself.....but have they let go of me?

From my journal dated March 17th 08

Proud to be a Liberal

2008-03-29T14:22:00.009+01:00

I've been going round and round with this notion since early last week when I saw a CNN report on the U.S. elections that claimed that Barak Obama may have difficulty in the General Election if he cannot free himself from the liberal label. (That, of course, the Republicans and their cronies at Fox and the rest paste on Obama every chance they get) The report showed footage of one of Obama's appearances on the campaign trail going through a list of his stands and explaining why they are not liberal, as if being liberal were something terribly wrong and to be ashamed of!

Why, over the past decade or so, has it become such a negative thing to be considered a liberal? The conservatives and neo-cons are proud to stand up and defend their labels, so why don't the democrats do the same thing?

In these musings I did a Google search for the definitions of the two labels. Here are the ones which encompassed all the definitions found:

Merriam Webster Dictionary:

liberalism
Main Entry:
lib·er·al·ism
Pronunciation:
\ˈli-b(ə-)rə-ˌli-zəm\
Function:
noun
1: the quality or state of being liberal2a. often capitalized : a movement in modern Protestantism emphasizing intellectual liberty and the spiritual and ethical content of Christianity b: a theory in economics emphasizing individual freedom from restraint and usually based on free competition, the self-regulating market, and the gold standard c: a political philosophy based on belief in progress, the essential goodness of the human race, and the autonomy of the individual and standing for the protection of political and civil liberties dcapitalized : the principles and policies of a Liberal party.

From the On Line Free Dictionary:

lib·er·al
play_w("L0148700")
(lbr-l, lbrl)
adj.
1.
a. Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
b. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
c. Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism.
d. Liberal Of, designating, or characteristic of a political party founded on or associated with principles of social and political liberalism, especially in Great Britain, Canada, and the United States.

What is there to be ashamed of in these definitions? In this fast changing, globalized world, where nothing is the same as it was 5 years ago, we need to to be "not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox or authoritarian attitudes.." It is a time when we need to be "favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress and tolerant of the ideas and behaviour of others.." These are the principals that business and industry have been adhering to on order to grow and succeed in this fast paced High Tech Information Age.

Now take a look at the defintions for Conervatism:

\kən-ˈsər-və-ˌti-zəm\
Function:
noun
1capitalized a: the principles and policies of a Conservative party b: the Conservative party2 a: disposition in politics to preserve what is established b: a political philosophy based on tradition and social stability, stressing established institutions, and preferring gradual development to abrupt change; specifically : such a philosophy calling for lower taxes, limited government regulation of business and investing, a strong national defense, and individual financial responsibility for personal needs (as retirement income or health-care coverage)3: the tendency to prefer an existing or traditional situation to change.

From The Free Dictionary

con·ser·va·tive
play_w("C0581800")
(kn-sûrv-tv)
adj.
1. Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2. Traditional or restrained in style: a conservative dark suit.
3. Moderate; cautious: a conservative estimate.
4.
a. Of or relating to the political philosophy of conservatism.
b. Belonging to a conservative party, group, or movement.

With conservatives trying to "favor these traditional views and values.., and preserve what is established.." the United States now: suffers a worrisome large gap between the haves and the have nots; struggles with mistrust and fear of those who represent change and progress; has implemented constitutionally questioable methods in the name of "conserving" America and its freedoms. These are all catlysts to the strong division bewteen and the low tolerance of one for the other that the nation suffers today. (United we stand - Divided we fall) And yet the Conservatives continue to stand up proudly for their Conservative Values, while disdainfully criticising those supporting Liberal Values.

I am disappointed that Mr. Obama did not stand up, define and defend the Liberal label and then proudly declare that yes he is a Liberal. According to all definitions I found, he is. By not doing so, he has allowed the Conservatives to succeed at converting the Liberal label into something degrading, fearful and shameful. The shame is that the liberals do not stand up and return the respectable term to its rightful, repsectful place in the U.S. political debate and options.

I share with you just such a defense that I found on my Google search:

A Liberal Definition by John F. Kennedy:
Acceptance Speech of the New York Liberal Party Nomination
September 14, 1960
What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then the record of this party and its members demonstrate that we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." (The rest of his speech can be found http://www.liberalparty.org/JFKLPAcceptance.html )

Mr. Obama, you missed the chance to draw another parallel of yourself to Mr. J.F. Kennedy on this one, and to once again eloquently expose and defend the "liberal" values of reform, progress and change that your campaign represents.

Something Lost

2008-03-25T12:52:00.001+01:00

Something Lost

The assignment this week for the Creative Writing Group I facilitate is to write about something lost. I have been searching my imagination for a lost thing to write about, something tangible that falls behind a sofa or gets left behind in a cafeteria, but I keep coming back to non-tangibles.

Innocence lost, that happens over a period of time.
Virginity lost that happens once, in a moment.
Friendship lost that can happen over time or suddenly over an incident.
Childhood lost, left behind, forgotten or buried.
Opportunity lost, from procrastination or indecision.
Love lost through fear, selfishness or self-protection, in one form or another.
Trust lost, through lies, betrayal, or seemingly unimportant inconsistencies between words and actions.
Respect lost because of immoral, unethical, compromising behavior.

But I come back to tangibles and my mind jumps to jewelry that belonged to my mother. Crystal vases, glasses and china that belonged to my grandmothers.
Books and letters from my father.
Then I realize, it is not their things I fear losing.
It is their unconditional love, their encouragement, their comfort, their support, their physical presence and embraces in my life, which those things symbolize, that I have lost, and will not recover in this lifetime.

Something Lost.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T23:19:00.005+01:00

Happy Easter!

May the joy of His resurrection, the gift of His love and comfort fill your Easter and Spring.

Give thanks for the many blessings He has generously bestowed on all of us as you look to Him for guidance in these challenging times!

Amongst my thanks for such abundant blessings, I've been feeling rather lost today, with my Holy Week traditional Spanish processions behind us and missing those joyous Easter morning masses with jubilant music, a lovely large family meal (I did have one for just the 4 of us though)Easter baskets, etc..How can two celebrations of the same holy day from the same religion be so different? Spain focuses on the Passion, the suffering, the death, then it seems the Resurrection is an after thought a let down. In the US, the focus on the joy, the miracle, the meaning of the Resurrection. Perhaps it is a reflection of the cultural differences of the two countries. Or perhaps the cultural differences are a reflection of these very different religious focuses.

Weekend Wordsmith - Vintage Postcard

2008-03-23T00:02:00.004+01:00

Vintage postcard arrives many years too late ~ what did the sender write?

Seven southern states I can see, but I can't see you.

Luscious lakes, trees and hills I can see, but I can't see you.

I miss you my love, and now I know

I want you to be the first lovely sight I see each mornng of my life.

If I see you at this spot on April 3rd I will know your question stands,

and my answer will be yes.

Waiting to see and love you,

Louisa

Exercise Update

2008-01-14T01:18:00.000+01:00

It felt GREAT to be back in the pool after having been away for months since the indoor facility was closed for reapirs. Although my back hurts (long term results from a herniated disc operation 18 yrs ago and lack of recent exercise) and there are some sore muscles, it feels good. In my New Years resolution to look at the positive in all situations, the soreness is an indication that I am exercising again, which my middle age body needs to work best, and that I have taken the first step in getting into a shape where there will be less pain. All positive things. Not to mention how the quiet alone time under water helps my mental health too! Yes this is healthy living.

The hard, healthy road of January

2008-01-08T21:34:00.000+01:00

In my attempt to drop the few kilos I gained with all the Christmas sweets and lack of exercise I stopped eating sweets yesterday, have kept wine in take to one glass per meal since the weekend, and played padel yesterday and today for an hour. My body aches all over, energy level is low, and I’m exhausted…… is this supposed to be healthy living?

Materialism of our times as seen in modern shopping malls

2008-01-04T22:13:00.000+01:00

It is the day before Three Kings, the most important gift-giving day in Spain. A shopping madhouse day like Christmas Eve in the U.S. I read the posts by Absolute Vanilla and Baino on materialism and remembered the below piece in my "draft" box since Oct. Note that my described feelings of over-stimulated and bombarded have been at least duplicated in Dec. and Jan. I don't even want to imagine the sales crowds (which begin Jan. 7th here) when my daughters will spend the gift certificates and birthday money they receive over these dates, and ask for my help.
So here is my humble response to the over-materialism of our times as seen in modern shopping malls.

I had to wait 45 minutes until I had agreed to meet someone at a coffee place at a local mall the other day, so I decided to 'go shopping' by myself (i.e. without 2 teenagers dragging me from one hip store to another) to see the new fashion trends for the Fall, maybe look for new bras I desperately needed, but hated the thought of shopping for. After 50 minutes I couldn't wait to get out!

My senses felt bombarded:

a different electronic music in each shop, (that awful kind they have found makes us purchase more. I think we purchase more because we can't think straight and can't wait to get out so we just decide to buy quickly to find reprieve from the music - I especially find this in the 'hip' stores my daughters drag me to.)
bright colors of glitzy stuff on top of every surface, especially in these kiosks now placed along the middle of the mall corridor to sell us more stuff we don't need
over layered, color coordinated outfits in every shop window that remind me of how out of style all my perfectly fine and color coordinated clothes I already own are
smells of every ethnic kind of food I never thought I'd be hungry for, from the bi-level food court half way down the mall.

Once the coffee was had and business taken care of, it was a reprieve to get in my car. To close out the noise, the materialism, the feel of frenzy. I drove home slowly, admiring the glimpses of the sea I got between new apt. buildings, restaurants and hotels (more materialism I tried to ignore) calming myself with classical music and the thought of home and the new color coordinated outfits I could pull together from the comfort clothes in my closet, acquired from an array of places, the least of which were shopping malls, over the years.(I'd have to wait another two months before I replaced those old bras)

I did it again

2008-01-04T21:16:00.000+01:00

I did it again, I went visiting my blog friends when I had some time for myself, and I spent so much time, reading, commenting, and linking that I didn't do any of my own writing or reading that I had planned to do as soon as I just "stopped by" a couple of favorites. Now my husband has returned, my daughters will soon need to be picked up from their outings, and the calm, silence for reading novels and reflective writing, which I was finally getting to, has been interrupted. I did it again, I enjoyed it, but it kept me from other important activities..I'll no doubt repeat it again soon......
sounds like a possible addiction, what do you think?

New Years Wishes

2008-01-01T23:30:00.000+01:00

In my wishes for the New Year I desire for everyone:

Good health

Love

Clearness of what you want

Insight into what you're meant to do

Opportunity, close Support and Guidance and personal strength and will on how to work towards and achieve it

Peace with yourself

Peace with others

Time for reflection, relaxation, appreciation and enjoyment of life.

May you find all these blessings along your path in 2008!

Weekend in Madrid

2007-12-10T18:59:00.000+01:00

Madrid was the first city I lived in, in Spain and it is the city I moved back to four times. Now it is the city that I visit when I need to feel sophisticated, urban, in vogue, challenged; perhaps independant and decisive again. I spent the early Dec. long

weekend there with my almost 18 year old daughter, just the two of us. We had planned

on seeing the Prado Friday morning before the shopping district, you know to get at least some culture in before admiring the designer's windows and perhaps buying a thing or two. Then Saturday was to be dedicated to catching up with old friends and family, and Sunday to a photographic session with a cousin for my daughter's modelling book.

All went according to plan except the Prado visit! I haven't seen such lines since....well I think ever! I can't even imagine how long it would have taken, it was 4 or 5 people wide and it ran almost the entire length of the museum and around the corner. Instead we opted to visit the elegant Ritz hotel, take a stroll down memory lane past landmarks that marked my first year in Spain,

pay a visit to the huge nativity scene in the emblematic Cibeles building, have a coffee at Starbucks, which has not yet reached the Costa del Sol (thank goodness!) as we walked our way up to the shopping district.

First stop Mallorca - pastry shop, bakery, delicatassen, caterer - all in one - a gournet's delight...

Second stop Jardin de Serrano elite shopping arcade...I used to aspire to dressing from those

type of boutiques, my times and values have changed - this trip confirmed that - next stops - shops more affordable and attuned to our life style. We acquired a few shopping bags, tired feet, sore backs and a fabulous lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe.

We stayed with long time friends from (our (my husband's and mine) college and early double dating days, who then became our next door neighbors for 4 years in Madrid. It reminded me that some friendships are forever and full of comfort, understanding, comraderie and laughter no matter how much time and distance passes bewteen visits. Our Saturday spent with another friend and her familhy and then my husband's great aunt and cousin continued to fill me with love and laughter and memories of old times and just plain feel good energy.

Sara's (my daughter see above and below) photography session went better than expected by all, I think, and we hope the photos will help her advance her career when she visits the agencies in Madrid in January with her agency rep. from here in Malaga.

Not to mention the great talks that Sara and I shared on the 5 hour drive to and from, in a non aggressive and non-challenging atmosphere and tone. Not always easy to attain in a busy life with two teen agers. I learned things about her, I hope she also learned things about me and life's values too. Those lessons are so hard to communicate but a weekend like this perhaps is a BIG HELP!

So did I feel independant, sophisticated, urban, in vogue, and decisive? To some extent, but in a less invigorating way than I did when I was in my 20's. And I was glad to leave the hustle, bustle, expensive sophistication, noise and cold behind, for my suburban, tranquil, sunny and sometimes indecisive life on the Med.

Fill Your Heart With Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T11:02:00.000+01:00

May you count many blessings in your thankfulness today and EVERYDAY.

I found this poem in a book I have been referring to lately for inspiration, meditation and refelction, copyrighted in 1974 that I bought for my Mom around 1998 in a used book store in Reston, Va. It proves that deep truths never get old or go out of fashion. Perhaps we just have to remind ourselves of them more often in this time of harsh media and materialism.

Fill Your Heart With Thanksgiving

Take nothing for granted,
For whatever you do
The joy of enjoying
Is lessened for you –
For we rob our own lives
Much more than we know
When we fail to respond
Or in any way show
Our thanks for the blessings
That daily are ours…
The warmth of the sun,
The fragrance of the flowers,
The beauty of twilight,
The freshness of dawn,
The coolness of dew
On a green velvet lawn,
The kind little deeds
So thoughtfully done,
The favors of friends,
And the love that someone
Unselfishly gives us
In a myriad of ways,
Expecting no payment
And no words of praise-
Oh, great id our loss
When we no longer find
A thankful response
To things of this kind,
For the joy of enjoying
And the fullness of living
Are found in the heart
That is filled with thanks-
Giving.
Helen Steiner Rice

Mind Mapping Results

2007-11-20T22:26:00.000+01:00

In one of my workshops, we did an exercise with Mind Mapping or Clustering and below are my resulting poems from this brainstorming, word-association like, technique.

Clustering or Mind Mapping - This is a technique similar to brain storming. A key word or idea (prompt) is written in a circle in the middle of a page. You draw a line form that first circle to the next circle in which you write the first word or image that the prompt triggered, then continue circles outwards with the words and images that this line of thought produces. When a new line of thought starts, draw a second line from the key word and develop that one out until it dries up and start on a third. There may be sub-branches or clusters as you a develop a more complex concept or memory. Continue this process until you have exhausted all the ideas that the prompt word triggers. When you go back and analyze the lines of thought produced you will more than likely find rich material for a personal story, a poem or a developed narrative.

Choose two of the following words, do a mind map for each then try and write a poem from the results.
Bridges, The Moon, Friendship. Mirror

MIRROR
The mirror reflects me
But who am I?
Is the refelction accurate?
Do I like it?
Is it what others see?

The mirror reflects me
But who am I?
Am I what you see?
Am I what I see?

Perhaps I'm what I feel.
Perhaps I'm what you feel.
Perhaps I'm all of these and yet none.
The mirror refelcts me
But who am I?

BRIDGES

Build me a bridge
Hang it over this gap
that separates me from
...from the other me.

Build me a bridge
help me cross it
get over the precipice
to the safety of the distant shore.

Build me a bridge
to other people, other villages
to close the gap
that separates us and keeps us from freedom.

Build me a bridge
to replace fighting lines
to burn away hate
to lead us to the middle common ground.

Grass

2007-11-17T11:29:00.000+01:00

The whir of a lawn mower wakes me at 10am on a Saturday morning, the smell of fresh cut grass wafts in with the light breeze through my open window. I don't open my eyes or even admit I'm awake, I just lie here, concentrating on my senses: the crisp cotton sheet caresses my arms, the summer smell of the grass brings images of vast green lawns, lush and inviting, my bare feet walk over the carpet softness, the lawn mower whir stops and the whisper of the breeze makes the wind chime play its familiar tune. The smell of freshly brewed coffee now wanders up stairs to stir me from this dream, the insistant tinkling of my mother's spoon stirring her coffee is the alarm I have been waiting for to pad my way into wakeness and Saturday's summer chores.

A Stranger in a Strange Land

2007-11-17T11:05:00.000+01:00

Maggie Rose from marginalviews posted a piece this week about her countdown to going home, how she misses it and her adult children, and the feelings of being a stranger in a strange land. It opened something in me that I seem to have just needed to express, so I share some of the thoughts and musings it awakened in me.

-------------------------------------------------
As a fellow ex pat I go through what you are going through frequently, but my children are not yet adult, they are born and bred Spanish, so it is my parents, my brother and his kids I long to see. But my parents are in a place I will not get to for a long time yet (I hope) and my brother is not in my home town. So I long to go home to a time, place and feeling of love, family camaraderie and security that does not exist anymore. How the question "is it a past time you long to go back to?" stabbed at my heart.

On being a stranger in a strange land, I am that here, but last evening on an outing to a dance event at the local Casa de Cultura in town I kissed in greeting many of my spanish friends, said hello to another handful of faces I know from one facet or other of community life here. But I am the American outsider. When I visit the US after 20 years away, I do not have a community feeling anywhere (no doubt I would if I lived there for awhile...) and with my changed perspective on the US and its values, I am the American from Europe outsider. So I often feel a stranger in a strange land on both sides of the 'puddle' as they say here. I long not to have to explain myself, or traditions and customs, to not have to be careful to say the wrong thing in the wrong way or the right thing in the wrong way.

But this is my path, and mostly I give thanks for it, for it has shown me happiness and offers abundance of many kinds, but I do cross these areas of shadow from time to time. Perhaps it's the approach of Thanksgiving and Christmas, that brings a bit of darkness to the path this month.

On an enthusiastic note, I must tell you that there are about 7 of us American women married to Spaniards, and we get together every month or two and it is with them that I do not feel a stranger nor do I have to explain myself, because they feel the same. SO for the first time in the 6 years we have been meeting we are doing a joint Thanksgiving next Sat. (Nobody can get Thursday off work here, obviously.) And I am so excited about sharing that day in a warm family, group atmosphere, where the traditions need no explanations, the kids are at the kiddy table off to the side, the men talk about sports and the women are a supportive, chatty group in the kitchen and around the table. We will be 32 in all. Thank goodness another woman is hosting it in her huge house, not yet fully furnished.....Truly I can't wait! It reminds of the anticipation I felt when I was young and we joined with our distant cousins and grandparents, or when I'd come from school for big hugs and gatherings at a bountiful table!

Thank you for provoking this Maggie, it feels better now.

The Moon Rises

2007-09-29T18:23:00.000+02:00

The moon rises and fills my soul

I watch for it, follow it,

Revel in its free nightly show

Over the water, behind a tree

A slow ascent, changing its hue

Cottony, golden, orange, bright white

It's diamond sparkle on the sea

Bids me goodnight as I admire it from my balcony

The moon rises and fills my soul.

The Jasmine and the Moon

2007-09-29T17:44:00.000+02:00

I sit on my porch, drenched with the aroma of jasmine, bathed in moonlight. My notebook, beckoning for so long, sits with joy on my lap, receiving every word with open pages, taking in every detail, to recall the feeling when once again it has been abandoned for the computer and the daily grind of selling, marketing, networking.

When will the creativity return? When will there again be peace and satisfaction at filling a page? More than that, when will there be that driving need, so that the notebook will not be abandoned for so long? When o when? Soon o soon, whisper the jasmine and the moon.

Quilt

2007-09-08T14:25:00.000+02:00

I had a quilt, it was blue and pink,
It was a great quilt I used to think.
My grandma Young made it, who knew when,
I only knew I loved it then.

It covered my bed, matching me,
Not the curtains hung so prettily.
It gave me comfort, warmth, minute fame
Wearing it at the weekly baseball game.

You’ll ruin it Mom used to say, but
I didn’t see the damage day to day.
So it accompanied me in my coming of age
Unniversity, first flat, now I’m engaged.

Tattered and frayed in a trunk it came
To give me warmth at home in Spain.
There it stayed until my daughter was born,
Searching for our roots, I found it too worn.

Unable to part with those golden days
In that trunk it still decays.
My Grandma Young made it, who knows when,
I only know I loved it then.

Details For The Living

2007-09-08T13:21:00.000+02:00

Sunday Sept. 9th, 2007, marks the 6th anniversary of my mother's death, and Monday Sept. 11th the anniversary of the unthinkable on the morning of her wake. I publish here a piece I wrote when all of that was still raw in Oct. 2001, because I was drawn to pull it out of old files today. Re-reading it made me realize the strength and depth of those infrequent and life-changing emotions.

September 11th 2001

A burning building filled the screen, Live Action; NBC News, remained unmoving in one corner, 10:32am in another.
“What happened I asked?” concern creeping in.
“It’s the Pentagon, a plane crashed into it,” a voice answered.
“What!” I blurted incredulously, eyes frozen on the screen.
“Yea, didn’t you hear about the twin tours?” another voice asked.
At that instant the screen switched to the shocking images of the previous 90 minutes: a twin tower on fire, a plane crashing into another, the first tumbling impossibly to the ground, then horrifyingly, the second following suit. I don’t know how much time elapsed the first time, but in two minutes of repeated footage I was supposed to assimilate the unimaginable. The bizarre series of events were unfolded for us by the news reporters, the others in the room, a local fireman who came in behind us.
My thoughts scrambled to grasp it, “these are special effects, scenes from Hollywood, someone is pulling a macabre joke like the Orson Wells’ radio hoax in 1939 when Martians were supposedly invading the earth, but who would or could? or why would they? This is too unreal to be unreal”.
The momentary isolation I had built around myself disintegrated and I looked at my brother and step father – unable to speak, we exchanged looks of fear and disbelief.
People were coming and going in the receiving room of the funeral parlor, voices were drowning out the news casters: speculation, confusion, who, how, why, what else? The fireman brought news about the Pentagon, the alert status they received, unconfirmed suspicions of more targets: the missile sight 15 miles up the road, AOL headquarters practically around the corner, Dulles Airport 15 minutes away. We were in one of the hubs, the spokes were spinning around us.
The funeral director showed us the chapel where the wake would be held that evening and took the shoes we had brought for him to put on my mother. The casket would be closed, nobody would see her, why bother with shoes? Because she couldn’t go barefoot in the dress she had said she wanted to be buried in. Another detail for the living, one of many I had questioned in the past 24 hours.
As we pushed ourselves to finish funeral tasks at hand the roads became deserted, cell phones were impossible to use, shopping centers closed and planes ceased to fly. The resulting silence was eerie. I felt like I was floating, the ground seemed to drop out from beneath my feet with each step, my stomach tightened, numbness took over. How could any of this be happening? My mother dead. Fear that any number of nearby sights could be attacked before day’s end. It feels like a dream, I wish it were a dream, it’s not a dream. The NPR news on the car radio confirmed that it was true.

Had everyone arrived from California that morning? Could Monica get out of Virginia Beach with the kids? Surely, as Chief Weapons Officer of the Navy’s East Coast Air Wing, her husband wouldn’t be coming now. Call Jennifer, tell her to avoid the beltway, come on the back roads. What about Todd coming by train from New York?
The California family had arrived safely on one of the last flights allowed to land at Dulles Airport. There they were, glued to the television when we walked in the house. Amazing how eight members of our family could be so quiet all in the same room. We all hugged, then pandemonium broke loose, everyone talking at once; “can you believe it, this is absurd, scary, impossible, I can’t fathom it, where were you when you heard? ”. The reason for the unexpected family reunion was temporarily forgotten, all attention was on the unthinkable.
The estimated number of deaths rose on the TV screen and suddenly it all became clear to me. I understood God’s rush to have my mother with Him. He needed her: her generous love, undying faith, great strength and unparalleled organization (as all of us cousins would later joke) to help so many souls in their passage from this life to the next. It comforted me to know that His next calling for her was of such magnitude. No doubt it pleased her too and she would rise to the occasion.
Then, thinking of the family members of those killed that day, I appreciated our good fortune. We had accompanied her until her peaceful end, we had said our good byes, our I love you’s and our thank you’s. We had shared our reminisces, our remember whens, our laughter and our tears with her. We had a body to dress, a casket to choose, a wake to plan, a burial to attend; We had details for the living.

Goodbye 'summer'

2007-09-02T18:37:00.000+02:00

Hallelujah, September is here! The oppressive humidity of august and its accompanying haze over the sea have lifted leaving us a glorious September day of a clear blue sky and soft breeze. The flow of neighborhood traffic has returned to the manageable levels of the residents from the constant movements of holiday makers. The jubilant (read as loud) vacation noises of pool games and splashes, evening get togethers and barbecues have gone, returning to us the peaceful murmurings of neighbors and resident birds. Supermarkets and shopping malls are once again closed today, Sunday, the most civil practice that ensures rest and a reprise from materialistic purchase frenzies on the Lord's day. I love this time of year, back to school and the routine it offers, long sleeves in the evening and sweaters in October instead of tank tops and shorts or sun dresses, amazing sunsets and sunrises. AAAhhhhh, back to the wonderful life on the Med now that July and August are once again behind us.

Write On!

2007-08-30T00:14:00.001+02:00

Well I'm on my way! I've been working all summer on polishing the content of my creative writing workshops I'm now offering for "profit" here on the Costa del Sol. I've also been developing this logo with an internet logo company and a marketing strategy. So here's the logo, what do you think? I've included both languages since two of my workshops I offer in Spanish as well. If you go to http://writeoncostadelsol.blogspot.com/ you can see the workshop summaries.

This morning I was on one of our local radio stations in English for a full 30 minutes talking about why I've developed these particuliar workshops and my objective of awakening people's creativity and encouraging more people to write for pleasure. Plus we talked about the kids' creative writing workshops I did this summer, one in Spanish and one ine English. It was harder than I thought it was going to be to get the kids' imaginations going and ignite their creativity. I think it's because we don't let kids get bored these days, and often creativity comes from boredom! Try letting yourself get bored, then write!

Next objective: get the publicity out in the local English press, and distribute flyers to the local English speaking clubs and social centres. Wish me luck!

Writers at work! A picture from a lunch break at a two day workshop "Winter Write" I did with a few fellow writers last Feb. Keep your eyes out for a new weekend workshop this year in the Mijas hills over loooking the Med!

The Catalba Tree - The Bean Tree

2007-08-19T19:51:00.000+02:00

My grandmother had a catalba tree behind her house, near the back door. I always called it the bean tree, and didn't actually know it's name until I re-read Prodigal Summer by Barabra Kingslover this month.

It stands in my memory as the shade and respite from the hot days that often speckled upstate New York (Amsterdam) summers. Under it we snapped beans for freezing, pealed cucumbers for pickles, pealed corn for supper, played aggravation to alleviate the boredom, or simply collapsed on our backs after hard play for rest and coolness. My mind would drift around its rugged bark, up to its hanging bean pods, through its huge heart shaped leaves, to the filtered blue of the sky; not thinking about anything except the intimate details of that tree. Subconsciously the surrounding smells of cut grass, ripened petunias, old wood, freshly turned dirt, roses, imprinted on my mind. The sounds of bees in clover, flies buzzing, a lone car whirring around the curve, the pressure cooker from the open kitchen window, became permanently recorded in my inner senses. When I smell those things, when I hear those sounds, I am once again 11 years old laying under that bean tree dreaming, drifting, feeling, simply just being.

Oh to return to that house, that tree, to those simple summer days when simply just being was just fine.

TEA - Weekend Wordsmith

2007-08-19T18:59:00.000+02:00

Tea, a cup of tea, a cuppa: it all reminds me of the differences between the English and the American. Here on the Costa del Sol, which is like the Florida of Europe, the English make up a large part of our local population. Over the past 6 years I have worked side by side with many English at the only privately run Cancer Hospice in Spain, started by an English woman obvously, and I have been introduced to a culture and language quite unlike my American own.

The English drink Tea, most like it quite strong and stick to the standard tea we might call English Breakfast. Some may drink the different varities offered by Twinings in those lovely tins, but most like their plain, but full flavored (excuse me flavoured) PG Tips which come in round packets instead of square bags with a tag on the end. Everyone has an electric kettle that plugs in and boils water in about 25 seconds so they can get their tea fix in record time. As much as those dainty, flowered tea cups and pots are depicted in typically English scenes, it's definitely the mugs, just like our coffee mugs, that people enjoy their tea fix in.

Now don't get me wrong, they also drink coffee, but after a meal, or mid morning while sitting at an outdoor cafe people watching and usually they accompany it with a brandy. Now that gets me to another English insight. Boy can they drink! At social gatherings they usually out drink me 2 or 3 to one. Most of them don't seem a bit affected either. Now mind you, I do see the weaving, slurring, inebriated tourist on occasion, and am always amazed to see they are often retirement age. Beer and ale by the pints, wine of all colours and origins, gin tonics, scotch, brandies, champagne, boy do they go for champagne, you name it, they consume it in large quantities.

They spell their words differently: colour, organise, realise, favourite,

They use their words differently too: A jumper is a sweater, a lorry is a truck, the bin is the garbage, bin it is throw it out, do the washing up is do the dishes, pudding is desert, car park is parking garage, the boot is the trunk, the bonnet is the hood, brilliant doesn't mean somebody is extremely smart it means someone or something is fantastic, lift is elevator, cue is line, shag means have sex, a biscuit is a cookie, aubergine is eggplant and courgette is zuchinni, have you got? means do you have?, and everyone is darling, love, mate or pet. You get the idea...And don't get me started on pronunciation.....pardon me, could you repeat that please.

So love, go fix yourself a lovely cuppa and have a brilliant time having a go at TEA as the Weekend Wordsmith on your blog. It beats the tele or going to the cinema.

Longings

2007-08-18T13:24:00.000+02:00

I've been absent for awhile, longing to get back, but fearing the return to getting lost in this magical world and loosing track of time: time which must be spent motheirng, wifing, (do you like that word I just made up?) developing and marketing my new professional endeavors for the fall, completing the volunteer project I'm involved in, keeping life and a household of four in order, fed and on an even keel.

Oh for those single, selfish days, when the first and mostly only one that mattered was me. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and nobody was waiting for me to hurry up and finish to dedicate some part of me to them; to resolve a problem, prepare or repair something, take them somewhere, or simply spend time and attention on them. I wouldn't change it for the world, but it does bring up these occasional longings to swim into a selfish, single life for a season or two.

LOVE - A Feeling Poem

2007-07-11T18:49:00.000+02:00

In my creativity and writing workshop I'm doing with kids this summer, I was preparing the session for tomorrow with the FEELING POEM as shared by Heather at Soulfood Cafe. (A most inspiring creativity and writing sight at http://www.dailywriting.net/ in case you don't know it.)

The idea is to use our senses to describe our feelings like this:

Line one: Name an emotion

Line two: “Smells like. . .”

Line three: “Tastes like. . .”

Line four: “Sounds like. . .”

Line five: Feels like. . . .”

Line six: “Feels like. . .”

Line seven: “Feels like. . .”

Line eight: Name the emotion

On this day of celebrating my love for my husband my sample feeling poem goes like this:

Love
Smells like baking cookies,
Tastes like peach cobbler
Sounds like Mozart
Feels like a cozy chair
Feels like a chill down my spine
Feels like a soaring eagle
Love

Try it! It's a wonderful way to talk about feelings, use your imagination and practice similes and metaphors for all ages! Thanks Heather for sharing your amazing creativity!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY LOVE!

2007-07-11T18:44:00.000+02:00

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary, and as we are not together I leave my love this special message by this modern means.
For our 14th anniversary in 2001, I put a little book together for you, with something I love on a page for each year of our marriage. I came across it recently and decided that this year I will fill in a page for each of the six years since. I will post them here day by day until you are back in my arms. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LOVE!

I LOVE:
1. Sunsets….Starry nights…. Walks on the beach holding your hand.

2. Long leisurely meals…..Good wine….Fireplaces ablaze with you by my side.

3. Love stories….Romantic movies….Happy Endings…and my own Fairytale with you.

4. The cooling days of October…Autumn’s changing colors….Lazy, rainy afternoons wrapped in your arms.

5. Reading a good book….Telling a good story…Adding new chapters to our own novel of life.

6. Country Music…..Slow dancing….Dancing in the kitchen with you.

7. Strong hugs…..Soft kisses…..Your loving, healing touch.

8. Sensual massages….Hot bubble baths….And all they can lead up to.

9. Scrambled eggs….Fluffy omelets……And delicate soufflés.

10. Outdoor cafes…..'Chiringuitos' on the beach….Tabernas and mesones…..Sharing tapas and the passing of time with you.

11. American football…..Real Madrid vs. Barcelona……And all your volleyball games.

12. A hike in the woods…..The smell of rain…..Thunderstorms weathered with you.

13. Halloween parties…Christmas festivities…..Celebrating our love!

14. Innocent kittens turned into calculating cats…..Lively puppies growing into faithful dogs…Our hot passionate youth matured into our loving family of four.

14+1. Lazy mornings in bed with a book.....coffee......And YOU!

14+2. Travelling to new places....Learning about different cultures....Discovering new, wonderful things that make you, you.

14+3. Watching the moon rising over the sea off our balcony....it's white light twinkling like diamonds on the water....the constant light you shine on my life.

Word of the Week Zoo

2007-07-09T00:37:00.000+02:00

Zoo days, in Washington or Madrid, when the kids were small and animals still entertained them. The monkey's antics and acrobatics; the gorilla's menacing eyes..so human looking; the huge hippo eating bananas, skin and all; the pandas..will we be lucky and find them awake?..only once, but they were playful and pleasing on that day; the otters-always my favorites, slipping and sliding in their rocky cascades just like they did when I was little; the prarie dogs entertained my dad and daughter for what seemd like an hour - hard to say who had more fun; the giraffes and elephants together in their enormous differences, elegance and playfulness juxtaposed; birds of prey, their regalness sadly hampered by the humiliating cages, I am only now aware of how I was attracted to them. Lions and tigers and bears, Oh my...yes they were there too......Oh for those Zoo days again, when the girls were small, animals still entertained, and I found much joy, insight and calmness in observing such wonderful creatures and in those simple pleasures of our younger family days.

In reponse to Bonnie's Blog Word of the Week idea! http://weekendwordsmith.blogspot.com/

Viva Harley Davidson!

2007-06-23T19:08:00.001+02:00

This morning my husband and I witnessed an amazing event. The 16th annual Eurpoean HOG (Harley Owners Group) Rally that was held in Fuengirola, Spain, one town over from ours. The rumor mill told us there were 7000 Harley Davidsons registered. I don’t know if there were that many, but the parade that made its way around the town took well over a half hour to fully pass us by. What a spectacular spectacle! The shine: chrome, polished paint, handlebars, engines, wheels. The black – leather, t-shirts, vests, boots, seats, saddle bags, helmets, bandanas– and orange Harley logo. The noise – rumbling, purring, roaring. The riders: old, young, fat, thin, long haired, bald, grey, blond, bearded, shaven, men, women, rugged, polished, Spanish, English, Irish, Scottish (with kilt and all!) French, Italian, German, Danish, Belgian, Finish, Portuguese, Dutch…and those were just the ones I saw. There was a unique camaraderie and uniting thread, that made thousand of people of all ages, nationalities and walks of life come together to show off, admire, spend money on and enjoy the machine of machines.

This Harley phenomenon is a unique one, and not owning a bike, let alone a Harley, we definitely felt like outsiders who wanted in. I wondered if the marketing plan from the early days had pictured this as their objective or if the clever management of Harley Davidson picked up the phenomenon and built on it through remarkable marketing and branding. It is a sight to see, an example to study!

I compared the morning to a visit to the Prado Museum in Madrid: if you were to see a small collection of the masterpieces you would be impressed by each and every one, and spend a long time admiring each piece. But when you are surrounded by thousands of marvelous works, you become saturated and pass them by without paying more than a few seconds attention to each one. It was a remarkable show of masterpieces in their own right that we thoroughly enjoyed. Not to mention an offering of the best people watching we’ve experienced in years.

I wonder what my father would have thought of his once yuppy, urban-sophisticated daughter, feeling a camaraderie with a bunch of bikers, and wondering what she would look like in black leather and a halter top on the back of a Harley?

2007-06-23T17:05:00.000+02:00

From my peaceful mountain, I hear goats bleat in the distance, a strange overlay to the traffic I can now hear. I’ve walked back up from the ravine where mountains on all sides keep out those road noises and where I can still feel isolated, calm, peacefully alone with nature. The goat bleats louder and two baby bleats respond. It is the season, I have seen many shepherds with their goats and sheep on the mountain sides that flank the busy roads I travel. There are cranes and new development all around here on the coast, gradually replacing our natural back drop, so I love seeing these few reamining herds and solitary herders with their dog as only companion, even if between billboards and flags for soon-to-be-built luxury residences. I love the few hillsides left, still Spring green and covered with wildflowers, that nourish these creatures with the mediterranean herbs and grasses that give a special flavor to their milk: milk that gets sent to local co-ops for Manchego, de cabra, mahon, tetilla, Spanish cheeses made from sheep and goats milk in some proportion or another. So bleat mother goat, find your kids, for without them you would not produce milk, and without your milk your commercial reason for being would evaporate and then what become of you?

Tribute to my Dad

2007-06-07T17:11:00.001+02:00

With Fathers Day approaching, I no longer have a card or gift to send, weekly phone calls to catch up on, someone to chew over Redskins results with, but I have warm memories of all that and more. In tribute to my Dad, who left this world shortly after a wonderful family Christmas gathering at my brother's two and a half years ago, I copy below his Father's Day gift from me from 1999. He said it was the best gift I could have given him. Wish I could give him another one like it this year...

MY DAD

He's a cool looking guy. Just under six foot and shrinking, a bit heavy around the middle, but that's his trademark. He's always been that way and I couldn't imagine him differently. His salt and pepper beard gives him an intellectual, or perhaps bohemian, look. Both are also accurate descriptions of the man. His dark eyes light up when he smiles and his laugh is contagious. He looks relaxed and unhurried.

He's been lucky in life, able to earn a good living around airplanes, the passion in his life. He and his wife made a decision a few years ago to make flying their priority (before it was "in" to re-evaluate your priorities and get out of the rat race) and readjusted their lives to achieve that goal. They know what they relinquish to fulfill their desire to fly and don't worry about it. I admire them for that! They can't be bothered with what others think or say about them, and I admire them for that too!

His material needs are few although he indulges in some of life's best pleasures, good food, good wine and Jack Daniels. I learned to appreciate the enjoyment of sharing a well-cooked meal with interesting company around the table from him. A wonderful dinner and a fine bottle of wine forever inspire conversation, debate, analysis, or reminiscing when he's at the table. An old Spanish refrain says, "Some eat to live and some live to eat." Happily he taught me how to fit into the second category.

He also taught me about football. I impressed many a guy in high school and college with my knowledge about the rules, strategies, players, statistics, and the like, all thanks to our dedicated Sunday afternoons and Monday nights. (Nobody likes to stay up that late at night on their own on a Monday) I still remember lighting a fire late in the afternoon on crisp fall Sundays, a cup of hot chocolate and the Redskins game. If it were against Dallas, so much the better!

He's a country-western and bluegrass fan, to the core. But don't give him Garth Brooks; give him Hank Williams, Charlie Pride, or classic Willy Nelson, but he'll take Vince Gil and George Straight too. THE CHAIR - one of my favorites, and I'll never forget two stepping to it with him in my living room in Spain. Or, two stepping with him in the bars in Ft. Worth when I lived in Dallas. Of course we laughed over songs by the Oak Ridge Boys, the Bellamy Brothers and Billy Ray Cyrus. Country and western lyrics are often a good source of laughter! They were also a good source of communication when I was in high school.

The best compliment paid to him, as a father, and to me, as a daughter, was something he said a few years back. " I'm lucky. During 18 years I gave you two kids the base on which to build your lives, and now I have two responsible, law abiding, and interesting adult children, who never gave me any serious worries. I couldn't tell you how to live your lives or what to become, you had to find that out on your own." And so we did, and when we're able to come together to share all that it's a wonderful experience.

I sure miss those wonderful experiences Dad...Love You Forever

G8 vs. Grass Roots

2007-06-06T19:38:00.000+02:00

If you read my I Believe piece below, you will see that I believe that a grass roots movement i s "threatening" the traditional power brokers of the world as we know it, and will in our lifetime bring about fundamental changes. The news today from the G8 summit in Germany supports my theory. 16,000 security personnel and a 12km (7.5 mile) fence, which I heard this morning cost 25,000,000 Euros, have been employeed to protect 8..EIGHT.. world leaders (and their entourage I assume) from over 10,000 protesters.

What does that say about our world. How many people's lives could those 25,000,000 Euros spent to build a fence significantly improve...and what did that money actually do for those EIGHT lives? Save them????? I wonder......

In latest news reports it seems the protesters have gotten closer than security planned, expected, wanted, and the leaders are surrounded, their wives have had to cancel excursions. Maybe they'll open their windows and listen. Or will they just close their eyes, look the other way and play deaf?

G8 vs. Grass Roots, I root for the underdogs..all 10,000 and counting of them.

Night in the Gardens of the Alcazar of Sevilla

2007-06-04T19:08:00.000+02:00

In the glow of twilight the lavender flowers of the jacaranda form a pearly lace against the ink blue sky, like a Sevillana dressed in her mantilla for Semana Santa processions.

A sacrificial cypress has given its trunk in support of a soaring bougainvillea whose wispy branches cascade magnificently to the ground in sprays of magenta.

The kissing branches of the colonial palms and native eucalyptus form a portal to the stars. The moon slowly nudges into it, hesitating in a golden mist. Then, more confident, she moves into her full glory, shimmering white and bold as she fills the whole portal. Her diamond light becomes a fleeting canvas for the lace of the flowering jacaranda.
I watch her continuing climb in awe of the performance I am sure she has orchestrated just for me. A moment of intimate admiration passes between us before her non-relenting ascent allows the stars to re-appear through the portal, seemingly fainter and more distant under her brilliant light.

The palms, cypresses and eucalyptus dance homage to this rising moon in all her fullness, carrying the heady scent of jasmine and lavender on the breeze.

The golden lights of the Giralda – majestic and powerful in the distant night sky – convert hungry bats into magical bronzed creatures, seemingly protecting the sacred tower from evil invaders as if in a fairytale.

I am enchanted and under the spell of these Moorish gardens that connect me with a place in a past I somehow know but cannot remember. Another life, another palace, I cannot quite describe, but these gardens and these scents, I know they have been in my soul forever.

I Believe

2007-05-31T08:29:00.000+02:00

I’ve been writing form different prompts lately and just wanted to share what came from:

I Believe….

I believe in God.
I believe people want to be generally good but for fear and criticism they don’t allow themselves to be.
I believe happiness is possible - as a way of being content with and accepting of oneself.
I believe in love and forgiveness - of oneself and others.
I believe God has given us all special gifts…and positive things to do with them.
I believe in the Law if Attraction: You get what you give - What goes around comes around - Positive generates positive - Clear vision of what you want helps it become reality

I believe in my husband and children.
I believe I have the ability to do what I need to.
I believe in life after death, heaven, reincarnation in the soul’s journey towards God’s precious light.
I believe we have to learn all the time - about ourselves, others, the world.
I believe I can help others feel good about themselves.
I believe in their inner beauty and want to help them find it.
I believe we on Earth are in a process of change.
I believe the power holders have taken us too far away from the natural balance of things and that from a grass roots movement we are struggling to pull it back.
I believe it will be hard and scary, as all major power shifts have been, but..
I believe our survival depends on it and we will be better off on the other side of the hardships.
I believe in enjoying life - its simple pleasures: sunrises and sunsets; moonshine twinkling on the sea; birdsong and green light swaying among the trees.
I believe in giving before taking.
I believe in laughing a lot.
I believe we’re happy because we sing and dance vs. we sing and dance because we’re happy.
I believe God loves me and blesses me.
I believe in Love.

My soul whispers

2007-05-24T10:01:00.000+02:00

The birds are talking to each other, offering their morning greetings. Swallows, sparrows, mourning doves, and the black bird like species whose name I do not know, but whose cawing I've come to recognize. A mist covers the sea I contemplate from my terrace and a cool breeze comes from levante - the East - and tickles my face.

A rare morning with no school runs to make, appointments to get to, exercise class to attend, errands to tend to. It is glorious, this

quiet morning to myself for writing and reflection. Silence, stillness allows me to finally hear the birds and hear my soul. It is aching to talk to me but lately the ringing in my ears drowns out my soul's whispers. Now I feel them stirring, the ringing has disappeared, I can close my eyes, calm my breathing and listen. I want to hear my soul, hear God's inner voice, feel His wisdom, recognize His blessings. My soul knows it already, I just have to listen.

Life Moves On the Sea

2007-05-24T09:30:00.000+02:00

Life moves on. It’s almost the end of May and what have I done since I left my “real job” in February in a leap of blind faith? Re-established my old writing group – not too successfully so far; created a children’s creative writing program - still trying to sell it to children’s summer day camps; joined a new writing group for better feedback; reduced my daily stress; gone back to fixing healthy family meals; put exercise back in my routine: I’ve gone back to creativity and nurturing, but it isn’t close to generating the income I need – or think I need. So I tell myself focus on it and do it, why am I hesitating? I come back to this ALL THE TIME, so just get on with it and do it – focus, organize your time, create and go for it!

What about the Creativity Center project? Yeah what about it? Win the lottery, put it off, borrow money, find a partner, what to do? What can’t I move forward with both ideas? Organize my time and put in the blocks to make it happen – schedule, schedule, organize, organize.

But I want to become poetic and insightful – inspirational and embracing. Don’t push life, let it push me. Like the current at the sea’s edge, I shall allow myself to be gently taken to and fro in directions I do not choose. Is my faith strong enough to allow it to happen without turning over and swimming myself towards one direction and then another? Float and be buoyed by the embracing water, relax and let its gentle in and out of the tide take me to where it may, enjoy the rocking, the easy pulling; there is no storm raging, no dangerous rocks nearby. Float on His sea, trust God to take me where He may, He will not let me sink while relaxed in His warm waters. He knows where He wants me to go. Relax, relax, enjoy, enjoy. Life moves on the sea.

A Mother Daughter Embrace

2007-05-10T11:39:00.000+02:00

We have spent my lifetime intertwining like vines,
Sometimes one supporting another,
Sometimes one smothering the other,
But forever one dependant on the other;
Always loving each other.

It has taken us years of reaching and growing
to achieve the perfect balance allowing
bright spring blooming,
strong summer growth,
or tranquil winter repose
in preparation of flowering anew.

Our eternal embrace nourishes us and makes us strong.

God has blessed us well.

jan 2001

Does anyone ever get over losing their mother?

2007-05-06T22:47:00.000+02:00

With Mother's Day upon us, I share some of my views about my mother, me and our relationship. I am sure there are many women who experience this same unsettling expereince.

Dear Mom,

Does everyone take so long to get over losing their mother? Perhaps the question is does anyone ever get over losing their mother? Five plus years and the hurt still lingers. The hole no longer gapes, but it remains open.

How can I think of you less? When I see my hands, it’s like seeing your hands. (Did you realize how much I used to look at your hands….and feet?) With your rings on the same fingers on my hands as on yours, they become your hands; the shape of my nails is an imprint of yours; the skin crinckles over my knuckles in the same pattern.

When I catch an unexpected glimpse of myself in the mirror, my nose and mouth surrounded by freckles are the reflection of yours not my own. Did you realize how much I used to watch you in front of the mirror at your bathroom sink? How you washed your face: my movements unconsciously mimmick yours. How you combed and brushed your hair: my strokes are the same as yours. How you applied your creams and makeup: my circular motions are a mirror image of yours. How can I allow you to recede into the background when I see you daily in my reflection in the mirror?

My pot-belly, non-toned leg muscles and droopy b&b’s (butt and boobs) are following the same aging pattern.

You are in me, I am part of you, even in your absence. And these daily reminders keep the hole of that absence close to the surface.